Today, I helped an old man who fell over. Turns out he was drunk and had pissed himself. He decided to thank me with a hug. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw an old homeless man who had just fallen down due to his drinking. Everyone laughed at him, but I felt bad, so I went to help him up. My reward? A quick punch in the face, landing me in the hospital. FML
Today, I helped an old man with his groceries, because he was struggling and he had a cane. After, I was nice enough to drive him home. He went to thank me by giving me a kiss on the cheek. Then he stuck his tongue out, and tried to French kiss me. FML
Today, at my hotel job, I had to help a drunk naked guy back into his room. Earlier today, a fat old guy wearing only briefs came down to the lobby drunk as hell. I used to like my job. FML
Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML
Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML
Today, my husband's old fraternity brother came to visit. He fell out of his car, puked, then passed out drunk in our driveway. We got him to the bathroom, where he fell asleep. He woke up at 4am, wandered around the house naked, pooped in my trash can, then passed out again. FML
Today, I was at a concert and the guy who was selling the drinks tripped and fell down the stairs, landing on the floor next to me and the drinks went all over. I went to make sure he was okay and helped pick up the drinks. After assuring me he was okay, he gave me a free soda. It exploded. FML
Today, I watched an old man pee himself while he was talking to me at work. I didn't do anything or say something, solely because he didn't get any on the floor. FML
Today, while working at my salon, I was cutting an older gentleman's hair. When he got up to leave, everyone noticed he had clearly pissed his pants. I felt bad for him until he laughed and said, "Here's your tip, have fun cleaning that up." FML
Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML
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Top comments
justanonymous123 13
No good deed goes unpunished.
stryder9090 28
A golden hug from a golden aged individual. Your day can't get any brighter!
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Comments (28)
justanonymous123 13
No good deed goes unpunished.
ohkitty 21
who else sang this in their heads to the tune of the Wicked song No Good Deed?
DamnBailie 23
At least your heart was in the right place. No everyone would have helped, and Im sure some good karma will come your way soon (:
stryder9090 28
A golden hug from a golden aged individual. Your day can't get any brighter!
FlyestBoy 11
Are you the hulk by any chance?
NotGabe 28
Oh that's nasty.
mds9986 24
Every time I read this sentence I read it in cleveland's voice without thinking about it.
fml510605 16
What a warm hug
StupidUsername89 23
At lest you helped him. Hope u got cleaned up
daddysgirl243 21
urine a gross situation there
StupidUsername89 23
That's a sticky situation. Hope you got some good karma for helping him.
sweetbliss3 37
what kind of pee do you have that's sticky? I don't condone it, but hell, even "a wet situation" would have made more sense.
Psycocharger 19
Well, at least you helped him, good job OP!
Swandive235 27
This is why I don't hug people, ever.