Today, I once again had to tell one of my elderly patients not to grope me. He responded by throwing his bedpan at me. It was full. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML
Today, my violent geriatric patient was trying to escape the facility. When I intervened, she poked my belly then told me I was squishy and that I might explode. FML
Today, my patient knocked my glasses off as I assisted him in the shower. We both looked in terror as they fell into his unflushed toilet. This patient was isolated due to a contagious infection. FML
Today, I was dealing with a psychiatric patient with a colonostomy bag. She got agitated and ripped the bag from her abdomen and threw it at my face. I got a bag filled with poop thrown at my face. FML
Today, I was in the ER where I work as a registrar. A patient received a plastic urinal to use in his room. Most patients throw them away when they leave. He, however, decided to take it with him, and as he checked out, put it on the registration counter. Two feet from my face. It was used. FML
Today, I visited my Aunt in hospital. Another patient got jealous, so she threw a tantrum. She threw things at us, pulled her drip out, threw herself to the floor, screamed, pounded the floor with her fists and pissed herself. My aunt is still waiting for a new room, and the staff blame me. FML
Today, I'm taking care of my bedridden, 94-year-old grandma. She woke me up at 6 a.m. only to tell me her UTI is still there. Later, she made me interrupt my 15-minute-dinner a total of 4 times because she wanted things like "more lotion in her buttcrack." FML
Today, I held a container while a patient tried to throw up in it. She missed. FML
Today, while very sick, throwing up in a bucket beside my bed, my dad came in pushed my face into the bucket. For a laugh, apparently. FML
Today, in a hardware store, I had to physically restrain my senile grandpa from trying to take a crap in one of the display toilets. FML
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Top comments
masturdad 11
The fact he needs a bedpan shows that he's too old to grope anything
foxwasalamb 24
he wants his action and wants it now dammit!
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Comments (76)
masturdad 11
The fact he needs a bedpan shows that he's too old to grope anything
Crazynocatlady 22
Now come on. Oldies need loving too!
joseph19921992 10
Don't worry OP, I'll save him a spot in hell ;)
ArmyDoc 11
You don't have to be elderly to need a bedpan. So it doesn't show anything except an inability to control bowel movements.
StaceeeP 23
You don't have to be old to use a bed pan at all, you could be young and temporarily bed bound due to illness, surgery or injury etc...
cakefete2 31
Yes, but her comment was in response to number 1 saying that the use of a bed pan is proof positive of age.
cryssycakesx3 23
#1 obviously not...
avidreader121 7
You clearly do not work with the elderly. You only use a bedpan on those who have "mobility". #gottalovebeingaCNA
EternalRest 5
If they had mobility, they would be able to get up and use the bedside commode or regular restroom.
musicdreams1984 4
#1 He threw his piss/shit on her. That's all you need to know. Nobody in ANY profession should ever have to deal with that. If you think she deserves it, you are SICK.
foxwasalamb 24
he wants his action and wants it now dammit!
cakefete2 31
Lol. This made me think of the old J. G. Wentworth commercials, "its my money and i want it now!".
badluckalex 23
most annoying commercial ever made
Mirakledba 10
69 likes? I think I'll leave it at that.
Crazynocatlady 22
Geez some people just take the piss.
stevothedevo 25
And some people just give ya the *****.
stevothedevo 25
For those who think I directed that at 3, you can also shit in a bed pan.
fooltemptress 36
While it's inappropriate, I can't help but feel a little sorry for the guy. He's doing his business in a bedpan and the most he can hope for is a cheap thrill anymore. Although, I have heard things can get pretty freaky between the patients in a retirement home ...
Catahoulaqueen_fml 17
So being old is an excuse to molest people now? Pathetic or not, he had no right to grope OP.
jkmartinjk 16
Some people with certain conditions, ie Alzheimer's, don't understand boundaries anymore. For all we know, the patient could have thought OP was his wife. When my Oma was in an old folks home she would get into the bed of random men thinking it was her husband. It's very tragic really.
fooltemptress 36
35-Did you skip the part of my reply where I stated that what he did was inappropriate? What he did was wrong, but I am still allowed to feel a little sorry for the guy. As people get older, they tend to develop mental issues like Alzheimer's and dementia on top of a whole host of other physical problems. He's at the end of his life, ******** in a bedpan at a retirement home. If he needs a bedpan, odds are high that he's sharing a room with someone else and doesn't even have any privacy anymore. He relies on other people to help him with the most basic, intimate functions of his life, things that he, barring some disability we don't know about, has been able to do the majority of his life on his own. His odds of having sex again are pretty close to nil, which can be a difficult thing for anyone to come to terms with. So yeah, I think I'm allowed to feel a little sorry for the guy, even though what he did was clearly inappropriate.
ChristianH39 30
40, I think if he had the presence of mind to understand OP telling him not to grope her and sling a bedpan in response, that he was probably lucid enough to know what he was doing in the first place. Don't forget, assholes get old too
PrimeEvilTahir 24
Old people can get away with so much... I kind of envy them!
steampunktopus 1
They really shouldn't be allowed to, sexual harassment is still not ok no matter how old the offender is.
tashahoneyy 13
oh gosh
markcallanan_ 20
Ouch
BoltTheSuperdog 22
Elderly people are stubborn in their ways sometimes...
Sotanostash 20
Oh God, I read it as 'parents'..
theoneknownasjp 8
Don't take his crap... Pun intended