Username
United States
Today, I realized the only reason I chose to lose weight is that I can never cross the crosswalk fast enough. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff
United States
Strange metric
Today, I decided that I need to lose weight when I discovered I could no longer chew on my own toenails. FML
Anonymous
Romania
Careless and carefree
Today, when I crossed the street, I almost died because of a careless driver, but when I crossed it again on my way back, I got hit by a bicycle. FML
sad fat drunk
Boozehound
Today, I realized that my one and only motivation to lose weight was the fact that it would take less alcohol to get me blitzed if I didn’t weigh as much. FML
Anonymous
Australia
Today, I finally went running to help me start losing weight. I got 50 metres before someone in a passing car shouted out "Run fatty, run". I can't work up the courage to go for a run again. FML
anonymous
Chicago, United States
Today, I was going so slow in traffic that my GPS asked me if I wanted to switch to pedestrian mode. FML
CreeptacularBait
Today, after over a month of running to lose weight, I can’t walk without crying from the shooting pain in my legs. My husband is upset that I won’t go to the grocery store, make his lunch, or go hiking with him. FML
LadyJane
Today, I was trying to exercise more, so I went for a walk. I was quickly overtaken by a middle-aged lady with cankles, carrying heavy shopping bags in each hand. I'm 19, skinny, and apparently very unfit. FML
Anonymous
Health is overrated
Today, trying to get into shape because I run out of breath after walking more than 30 minutes, I started to hit the gym. Too bad my legs didn’t want to cooperate and decided that it would cause limping-worthy pain for every step I took on the treadmill. FML
Lou
United Kingdom
Today, I went to the supermarket; it was taking me ages to walk home because of the heavy food bags. Halfway home, I realised I had gone in my car. I had to walk all the way back to get my car. FML
PickYourselfUp
Chesapeake, United States
New day, same shit
Today, was the day I would turn my life around and start losing weight. I went outside for my first run and said, "I got this!" I confidently stepped forward, the first symbolic steps to my new life. In the anticipation, I forgot my porch had steps. I face-planted on my driveway. FML
Top comments
griffin4 0
like the penguin. he too waddles
marijuanasmoker4 3
You could gain more weight, and just roll across the crosswalk.
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Comments (382)
Cairo_Sanchez 8
whatever motivates you to lose weight
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Fatties always deserve it in my book
xXSillyLoveXx 0
Boners
holagranola 15
you know your fat when..
holagranola 15
have you looked at your pic and name ?;)
leeshxx 3
darling picking a fight with boners is close to suicide.
Slipknot666Maggo 0
sorry we aren't all anorexic like you are. :)
brookexrawrr 0
143 (holagranola), your picture is as fake as pam andersons boobs. do you have any idea how often that girls been used as ugly chicks' defaults ? no, just no.
xXshadowrollerXx 6
Man, you guys just worship boners, don't you? I'm sure he can fend for himself without everyone throwing in some comment or saying "lol xD that was funny :3" It just looks pathetic.
leeshxx 3
just wondering 240 when did we say your example I don't worship boners other way around I use to be on his neck tie duh
leeshxx 3
p.s u jealous bro
leeshxx 3
you know your fake when your photo pops up when you type emo girl
holagranola 15
ya I know it's fake I didn't wanna put my real pic up
holagranola 15
but if it's such a big deal I'll change it;)
gmangmoney1314 0
Hahahahaha, wow that's sad! You must be really fat!
snowdrift 6
hahaha, ydi for being fat(:. unless its a medical reason your fat~ then sorry.:(
NBS93 0
You don't cross fast meaning the light changes and cars run you over?
whiteboy7thst 2
I bet the real reason is the burger king on the other side
owen220 0
Or you could run over the crosswalk, that way you get fit and don't get ran over. WIN
abasio 1
At least you're now doing something about it.