Username
United States
Today, I realized the only reason I chose to lose weight is that I can never cross the crosswalk fast enough. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff
United States
Strange metric
Today, I decided that I need to lose weight when I discovered I could no longer chew on my own toenails. FML
Anonymous
Romania
Careless and carefree
Today, when I crossed the street, I almost died because of a careless driver, but when I crossed it again on my way back, I got hit by a bicycle. FML
sad fat drunk
Boozehound
Today, I realized that my one and only motivation to lose weight was the fact that it would take less alcohol to get me blitzed if I didn’t weigh as much. FML
Anonymous
Australia
Today, I finally went running to help me start losing weight. I got 50 metres before someone in a passing car shouted out "Run fatty, run". I can't work up the courage to go for a run again. FML
anonymous
Chicago, United States
Today, I was going so slow in traffic that my GPS asked me if I wanted to switch to pedestrian mode. FML
CreeptacularBait
Today, after over a month of running to lose weight, I can’t walk without crying from the shooting pain in my legs. My husband is upset that I won’t go to the grocery store, make his lunch, or go hiking with him. FML
LadyJane
Today, I was trying to exercise more, so I went for a walk. I was quickly overtaken by a middle-aged lady with cankles, carrying heavy shopping bags in each hand. I'm 19, skinny, and apparently very unfit. FML
Anonymous
Health is overrated
Today, trying to get into shape because I run out of breath after walking more than 30 minutes, I started to hit the gym. Too bad my legs didn’t want to cooperate and decided that it would cause limping-worthy pain for every step I took on the treadmill. FML
Lou
United Kingdom
Today, I went to the supermarket; it was taking me ages to walk home because of the heavy food bags. Halfway home, I realised I had gone in my car. I had to walk all the way back to get my car. FML
PickYourselfUp
Chesapeake, United States
New day, same shit
Today, was the day I would turn my life around and start losing weight. I went outside for my first run and said, "I got this!" I confidently stepped forward, the first symbolic steps to my new life. In the anticipation, I forgot my porch had steps. I face-planted on my driveway. FML
Top comments
griffin4 0
like the penguin. he too waddles
marijuanasmoker4 3
You could gain more weight, and just roll across the crosswalk.
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Comments (382)
valdancer99 0
lol fyl
the__usual 0
Better late than never!
CateXOX 0
Unless a car is coming straight at them. Then it's probably better not to cross at all.
krystina_gee 2
To be honest, it is pretty hard to cross in time because where I live the light also does change fast.
Smilez12 0
lmfao jaja story of ur lyfee lol xD
awardZu 0
That's the only reason you can think of to lose weight? Hit the gym, fatass. Get rid of the jelly doughnuts, and buy a treadmill.
coltsluvr123 2
pretty legit reason lol
mandel2000 0
ey miss fatty fatty yuh a murdah
CateXOX 0
Excuse me?
missmaryb 0
People are so digusting. How many years did it take to get to that point and you never saw it coming?
rbubbles 20
how can you call someone you don't know and have never seen as "disgusting" for not being able to cross a road fast enough? don't assume how fat this person may be, for all we know he/she may be skinny but just unfit.
imnotcraZ 0
u gotta run drills and hope u don't get hit!
HellaFletcher 0
oh my god its that when you are crossing a road and the light says walk it goes back to green before she can get across
dreamering 16
WTF you just said?
skateking133 0
what is this I don't even...