wiper
Today, my dad hid the toilet paper and is charging me 50 cents a roll. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Cheapskate
Today, my entire family of five is sharing one roll of toilet paper. My parents refuse to buy any, because my father can get it free from his work. He's forgotten to bring any home every day without fail for the past seven days. FML
Anonymous
Maple Ridge, Canada
Today, after a day, I finally noticed that the toilet paper I'd been using to wipe my butt is actually a roll of paper towel cut in half. My dad thinks that it's a waste of money to buy proper paper. Guess who had to unclog the toilet twice. FML
airhead2015
Morristown, United States
Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML
hellishome
Dad priorities
Today, as he was going out, I asked my father if he stop by the store and buy some tampons for me and toilet paper for the house, because we have been out for the last 5 days. He came home with a 30-pack of beer and cigarettes instead. I just started my time of the month and we have no more money. FML
alynn
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Scams galore
Today, I moved out of my apartment and thought it would be nice to leave the roll of toilet paper in the bathroom for the next tenant. I later got a notice from the management that I was being charged $50 for leaving behind "personal items." FML
Anonymous
"Shit ticket for one"
Today, my household ran out of toilet paper so we have to shower after every dump. My mom just confessed that she does in fact have money for shit tickets, but won't buy any because it's the only way she can get my brother to shower. FML
hannahg
Romulus, United States
Today, my dad yelled at me for being irresponsible while he watched me fold his laundry. FML
hobo
Chilliwack, Canada
Today, I woke up to "we're leaving". I'm now homeless because my Dad and his girlfriend got into an argument over toilet paper. FML
ohaifml
United States
Today, my dad got into an argument with the cashier about how overpriced the scented tampons were. FML
Ally
*shrinks into corner*
Today, my dad decided to be an awesome person and fold my laundry without telling me. Later, I heard my parents having a conversation about a pair of panties that were "like dental floss" and which sister they belonged to. FML
Top comments
DontModMeDammit 10
use his pillow case...
officeradvil 8
I think the real FML is that OP can't afford 50 cents.
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Comments (111)
VinegarStrokes 0
as he should
officeradvil 8
I think the real FML is that OP can't afford 50 cents.
largefoofighter 0
butt scratcher?! butt scratcher?!
helloello 2
haha! Oh Petaaaaaa (Cleveland voice)
ydi_4_suking 20
just use some of his underwear to wipe. and use the ass part so it looks like he leaves skid marks on his underwear
racer337 2
Maybe you should stop going through so many rolls every day
Heather_x0x0 6
look on the bright side...its only 50cents...the price coulda been higher...
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
iv been told I'm full of shit but this is a little over the top.
a_cramer23 0
hahaha family guyyyy!!!
robbiboyo 0
meh, I'd just use a leaf if I couldn't find 50 cents in my couch, car, or my bedroom floor.
TookaWooka666 0
Just take some of his shirts or socks and wipe your business with that lol.
andrewzzz 0
#6 what if he hid 100 rolls? then it makes sense
Cmliedtke 0
74... I doubt he stockpiles it like that, and I'm sure he'd be buying 1 or 2 at a time... but that would make too much sense wouldn't it?
TroII 0
The great "TP" Stock Crash was hard on us all...
HeavyMetalViking 0
Or you could use your dad as toilet paper since he's such an asswipe
tjv3 10
go buy some. at least then you would be contributing instead of consuming
seximexi911 10
it costs money for those shit tickets dude
claireful 4
how many rolls do you need???
skidoo800HO 2
I think this is his way of saying you should shit less
Jimster1712 0
sorry but i imagined that in lois' voice haha
Jimster1712 0
hahaha agreed
tatababe 1
use his clothes to wipe your ass and steal his underwear and charge him $5 for each one and charge rentals ;$
Mgock21 0
first... ha that blows mane
silentblack 0
u prolly use touch toilet paper
RaineLee 5
I was thinking of that too.
Carpy 8
so there's a type of toilet paper that you don't have to touch?
RaineLee 5
57 - Wow I didn't notice that. Lol.
EverybodyHatesCh 0
what!!! untouchable toilet paper!!! awesome!! i need some of those!!
NastyNinja31 0
tp for my bunghole
9010649 3
Be a man. Use your hand.
mollieOdare 0
That's not very nice.
ImaWiseGuy 5
start using the hand towels to wipe, your t.p. will return to it's original price's soon enough.....free 99.....
EatnBeef 7
it's only 50cents. quit bitchin. 2 quarters, ever hear of work? welcome to the real world
grumpybarista 0
OP, quit wadding it up like my 8-yr old daughter when she zings it off the roll!
jakeisawake 3
Let's be honest; go buy your own Charmin Ultra Aloe Vera toilet paper... Your dad is raping your ass with that price.
helloello 2
Haha, so true #5!
PeanutButterPudd 0
50 cent a roll is actually pretty damn cheap. the good stuff is about a dollar each.
DontModMeDammit 10
use his pillow case...
mayndaapathetic 4
haha . agreed !
hihi1212 1
you naty freak
hihi1212 1
nasty**
Darkhatchling 0
win
demonkonga 5
Dam Stright
dreamering 16
Stop eating too much and taking shit every 5 minutes.
jakeisawake 3
Enlighten me on the context clues you used to come up with this...
dreamering 16
You’re not a member of illuminati to be enlightened, because you buy your own Charmin Ultra Aloe Vera toilet paper.
jakeisawake 3
Uh, yeah; yeah I do buy my own, and I eat so much food that I have to wipe my ass every five minutes.
dreamering 16
Than you must have some serious hemorrhoid problems and you must see a doctor. Forget about enlightenment for now. I'll do that later
jakeisawake 3
Yes! The cream is doing me no justice; can you imagine having to shit every five minutes? ... No, really. Can you seriously imagine that? Ha, that would suck.
dreamering 16
I imagine you red faced and screaming out loud while taking shit and cursing out the cream that hasn’t read the constitution, therefore cannot fight the hemorrhoids that are planning terrorist attack on your asshole. Try the waterboarding next time, instead of the cream
qwert1994 0
OP's username, "wiper"
staceysgenesis16 0
******** every 5 minutes ? really ? .. hmm ...
whosyrdaddy101 0
I agree
jakeisawake 3
Stacey, I uhh... I don't really shit every five minutes, so you don't have to wonder about it. :P
ch3s 4
Remind me what the Illuminati have to do with toilet paper again if you would be so kind...
marinus_fml 20
Assumptions to the max ^^
MizzErikaHart 8
take a shower after you go to the bathroom. steal mcdonalds napkins...
Nuclear_Ninja 6
lol
adam0x0 0
sounds like it could be a shitty situation...and before anyone says it yes it's old but I still find it funny everytime...