Today, I realized that my one and only motivation to lose weight was the fact that it would take less alcohol to get me blitzed if I didn’t weigh as much. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, half of my motivation to stop drinking is so that my tolerance will go down, because I currently can't actually afford enough alcohol to get even tipsy anymore. FML
Today, I realized the only reason I chose to lose weight is that I can never cross the crosswalk fast enough. FML
Today, I decided that I need to lose weight when I discovered I could no longer chew on my own toenails. FML
Today, my boyfriend encouragingly told me that he could tell I was losing weight, all because I had one roll fewer than usual on my stomach. FML
Today, I officially completed my weight loss journey, only for my wife, who'd previously threatened to divorce me if I didn't lose weight, to tell me that she realized she liked me better when I was fat and that "you don't know what you have until it's gone." FML
Today, I realized I need to cut back on drinking. Not booze, but water. I compulsively drink so much water that my body is bloated from water absorption and I have to pee constantly. FML
Today, after I completely starved myself for a week and exercised every day in an attempt to lose weight, I instead gained 5 pounds. FML
Today, I noticed that I'm way more productive when I'm drinking than when I'm not. I think I just figured out why I'm related to so many alcoholics. FML
Today, I finished the first month of a diet and exercise program designed to help me lose weight. To keep myself motivated, I have avoided the scale the entire time. I weighed myself today. I've gained 6 pounds. FML
Today, after drastically changing my diet, going to the gym regularly, avoiding excess sugar and carbs, upping my protein, I’m still as fat as ever. In fact I weighed myself this morning, and I’ve gained 12lbs in 2 weeks. FML
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Top comments
tounces7 28
Tends to save money on food, too. Look at the positive things.
RichardPencil 32
That's better than wanting to squeeze into some dress for a high school reunion.
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Comments (6)
tounces7 28
Tends to save money on food, too. Look at the positive things.
RichardPencil 32
That's better than wanting to squeeze into some dress for a high school reunion.
Nhayaa 21
Knowing how high in calories alcohol is, your motivation to lose weight is precisely what's gonna make you fail. EDIT: Since answering to our own comments is no longer an option, here is my response to DirtySalamander. A shot of rhum (4cl) is around 87kcal. A glass of wine (12cl) is around 100. A glass of beer (25cl) is around 110. So beer is actually the lowest. ALL alcohols are high in calories. Alcohol is by definition a fermented liquid. Fermentation means sugar.
DirtySalamander 9
beer has a lot of calories but not alcohol. so yea.
Skyler Bond 3
Vodka, and Gin have the lowest beer has a bunch of carbs and calories. quit trying to make them fatter 😂
Chantalle Hensgens-Waltmans 19
That’s really not how it works 🤦🏼♀️