PurpleSloth
Tracy, United States
Today, I realized that without my birth control pills, I would have no idea what day it is. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Australia
Malpractice
Today, I found out that I have unnecessarily been using birth control for the past 10 years. A surgery I had following a complication with my first child apparently rendered me infertile, and none of the doctors bothered to enlighten me. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
irwingiggles
Netherlands
Today, I figured out how my birth control works. If you're on your period for four months straight you can't have sex, so you won't be pregnant. FML
Anonymous
Manhattan, United States
Too little, too late
Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, I found out I was born as a result of someone switching my mom's birth control pills with Tic Tacs. FML
hellolaina
San Francisco, United States
Today, I realized that without fail, even if I'm not supposed to get it, I get my period just in time for vacations. FML
Username
United States
Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML
samantha
United States
Today, I found out that after using several types of birth control, and being paranoid about pregnancy, I've been infertile for years. FML
Anonymous
Yeet it
Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML
Anonymous
India
Safety first
Today, I found out that morning after pills don't work if you're already ovulating. I also found out that I might become a father wayyyy sooner than expected. FML
Top comments
Welshite 40
Buy a calendar.
LiterOfCola 16
Rough and getting off. That's just the way she likes it
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Comments (112)
WCARlover 35
"FML I can't look at a calendar"
fylx100 19
Or maybe.. Just maybe a calendar wouldn't help because her period comes on random days. Like for example, it would come 30 days after January, after February it would come 25 days later, and after February it could come after 28 days. But I don't know, I guess I'm just crazy. It's not like I have this problem or anything. (Sarcasm)
SirCharles83 13
60- the problem is she doesn't know what day it is. So yes, a calendar would help.
GuessWhatKids 13
Yeah, getting pregnant will fix the problem.
hilde43 5
You must be very blonde eh
whyusofat 17
annnnd here comes the blonde jokes.
perdix 31
#25, no, Canadians aren't stereotyped as stupid (except Newfies), but as being exceptionally polite and obsessed with hockey. Q: Why do Canadians **** doggy-style? A: So both of them can watch "Hockey Night in Canada."
imagineapc 11
#61 you must have the eh, eh?
Kkkdawg 27
Umm...I'm from Newfoundland and I'm not stupid, thanks.
Imhere4fml 24
Not only that you could look at a calendar but also a phone... Or a digital watch, or the news.
DanielleinDC 34
Or your computer, a tablet, a Kindle Fire, a newspaper...
HowieDoIt 21
A roast beef, some chicken, a pizza...
GothickNihilist 15
@31 "No I mean just this morning". " A roast beef, some chicken, a pizza. " Spongebob FTW.
TheBrochure 22
Don't feel too bad! At least you can commit to something! Some people find that difficult.
lambda_fml 40
Oh yeah Im comitted to have sex every day.
karlcolt45 19
okay push the lock screen button on your phone. you there? good now read the thing that basically heads the screen, see it? there you go slugger
CharresBarkrey 16
Your directions are terrible. I got my foot stuck in the garbage disposal.
Omfgitsmia 15
Why is this an fml?
lishajoy777 14
How is this an FML?
HowieDoIt 21
Because her L is literally a string of F's and she doesn't like where she is at right now.
LightsxOut 10
Get a calendar. You can also track your period with one, too.
young_weezy_fml 3
your bf must be great then