PurpleSloth
Tracy, United States
Today, I realized that without my birth control pills, I would have no idea what day it is. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Australia
Malpractice
Today, I found out that I have unnecessarily been using birth control for the past 10 years. A surgery I had following a complication with my first child apparently rendered me infertile, and none of the doctors bothered to enlighten me. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
irwingiggles
Netherlands
Today, I figured out how my birth control works. If you're on your period for four months straight you can't have sex, so you won't be pregnant. FML
Anonymous
Manhattan, United States
Too little, too late
Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, I found out I was born as a result of someone switching my mom's birth control pills with Tic Tacs. FML
hellolaina
San Francisco, United States
Today, I realized that without fail, even if I'm not supposed to get it, I get my period just in time for vacations. FML
Username
United States
Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML
samantha
United States
Today, I found out that after using several types of birth control, and being paranoid about pregnancy, I've been infertile for years. FML
Anonymous
Yeet it
Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML
Anonymous
India
Safety first
Today, I found out that morning after pills don't work if you're already ovulating. I also found out that I might become a father wayyyy sooner than expected. FML
Top comments
Welshite 40
Buy a calendar.
LiterOfCola 16
Rough and getting off. That's just the way she likes it
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Comments (112)
lambda_fml 40
Thats a very unorthodox method but hey, whatever works for you. ;-)
Enslaved 38
Shoot! I still write 2012 on all my checks! :P
Sandman366 6
You're not alone....I start remembering/writing) what year it is (instead of the previous one) usually 2-4 months into it. (Though I think for some odd reason I'll miss 2012. Not sure why...)
HouseElf 13
It always feels like you're in a time warp in the summer when you can't remember what day it is.
Redoxx_fml 22
Also known as a cell phone
Wederoney 16
Soo... condoms?
BellaBelle_fml 23
Why?
outoftown 27
Hey, if your birth control pills keep you safe and tell you what day it is, what's the problem? Take them first thing in the morning, and you're set for the day.
Jessj958 19
Not to sound bitchy or anything, but I find it hard to believe that your birth control is the only way you know what day it is OP. I think it's safe to say you either use a phone or a computer on a daily basis, and the day of the week and date is available on both devices. I fail to see how this is an FML....
gc327072 31
16- if your name had a comma in it and an exclamation mark at the end it would apply perfectly.
ByronJess 17
Today I realized that without this FML post I would not have remembered to reorder my birth control pills!
Enslaved 38
I know lots of people that don't know/easily forget what day of the week it is. (Myself included.) Some work super hard 7 days a week and it's work home ,work home, work home etc... It might not matter what day it is. I also know that this long weekend (because of President's Day) is going to screw up a few people's day recognition. :P