Today, I figured out how my birth control works. If you're on your period for four months straight you can't have sex, so you won't be pregnant. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, thanks to a new form of birth control, I've now been having my period non-stop for six weeks. FML
Today, I found out that after using several types of birth control, and being paranoid about pregnancy, I've been infertile for years. FML
Oops
Today, after my wife and I have been trying for a baby for 2 years, I found out she's still on the pill. Apparently when she was a teen she had bad period cramps, so her doctor gave her the pill for the pain. She never realized it stops pregnancy. FML
Today, I realized that without my birth control pills, I would have no idea what day it is. FML
Long haul
Today, I’ve had an irregular period my whole life. I was on birth control and took out my IUD in January. I’ve had my period ever since. It’s going on 5 months now. FML
Safety first
Today, I found out that morning after pills don't work if you're already ovulating. I also found out that I might become a father wayyyy sooner than expected. FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
Too little, too late
Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I was told that since I've had only three or four periods since 2013, there's 60 periods worth of blood clotted in my uterus. They gave me medicine to make it all come out in one week. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that my girlfriend lied about being on the pill four months ago. FML
Top comments
_whyme_o 12
I think you should see your doctor, because that's not normal :o
Wizardo 34
You should really go to a specialist for this, it could be a serious problem down the line.
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Comments (226)
cartoonboy 26
That sucks....consult your doctor for some help with that
Miss_Chevious 37
and maybe try different birth control pills perhaps?
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
ya that cant be healthy...consistently losing blood like that. id be concerned myself.
SharnaaaBanana 22
Exact same thing happened to me. My birth control prolonged my period and it wouldn't stop. The doctors put me on a higher dosage and it stopped straight away :). You probably just require a little extra estrogen like me
militarybrat 21
#100 before I got on bc I had one pretty much constant for 10 months. Absolutely miserable.
theaaxis 27
Was it orthoevra? It put me on an almost three week period at first... works great now, but annoying as all hell to start with.
organizse 28
That bloody sucks
sarah5745 41
For ***** sake, not these 'puns' again..
kred 21
For bloody sake
cakefete2 31
Yea, menstruation jokes aren't funny. Period!
Marebare23 17
I see what you did there
Turtle_Man 21
You should be ashamed of yourself
False_Stupidity 42
Bloody hell!.. here we go again.
IndicaPaincakes 28
These jokes hurt.
Knightchaser27 25
Are they cramping your style
Rallred32 20
You know what else hurts, 153? A period.
Astrobomb 21
worst joke ever
Wizardo 34
You should really go to a specialist for this, it could be a serious problem down the line.
FieldLeftBlank 20
down the line *cackle*
thepersonyouknow 9
Yea, the uterine line
_whyme_o 12
I think you should see your doctor, because that's not normal :o
renjisgirl12 22
Actually with some birth control this is very much normal. When I first went on the nexplanon implant, I was bleeding for a constant 6 months. It eventually stopped and now I don't get them at all. I was concerned at first, of course, but the doctor informed me that majority of people experience this in the first year of use, before the side-effects subside for the final 2 years. You can also get prolonged bleeding with other birth control, such as the pill.
Rawrshi 25
The Mirena IUD does the same. You bleed for a month or two (but not usually as heavy as a period and most days just spotting), then your periods are longer (a week or so but still mostly light/spotting), and eventually they stop all together at 6 months-a year for the next 4ish years (Mirena is a 5 year thing). It's still really worth it though. Of course there could still be a problem and OP should definitely get checked just to be sure!
renjisgirl12 22
Yes that's true. If it's heavy bleeding constantly then you'd need to get help in case of anaemia/iron deficiency. When I was bleeding for 6 months, it was lighter for most of the time, so it wasn't a health problem -just inconvenient!! xD Definitely worth it though
foxwasalamb 24
i don't know how all you girls can do it. bleeding for four months? no thanks. guess ill just stick with condoms.
MrConcise 35
#84 - It's like that age-old question of, "If you could do [X] all at once instead of over the course of your life, would you?" It's not for everybody, but you do end up with less time overall spent acting as a blood faucet.
doodlecloud 27
84 - It also varies greatly depending on the person and the pill. Some people get long bleeds, some get no periods at all. Some people just get their normal period as usual. It could be fine for you but I guess you won't know till you try.
R3TROxLOV3 32
48, I'm the total opposite. I got mine back in September and haven't had a period since then. None of my friends who've also gotten nexplanon have had the issues you said you did either.
ZombieScoobyDoo 20
I also have the nexplanon implant. I got it back in May 2014. At first, I was having a pretty regular period. Then it stopped for a month or two. But now, I've had brown spotting for a week, then my period for a week, and now I'm back to brown spotting. Birth control does weird things to people's bodies.
HeWillBeLoved105 22
It's pretty ******* normal.. I've been on it for 8 months straight before. It was hell. Also, the beginning stage of menopause makes you go on your period for long periods of time.
irwingiggles 26
Hi, I'm the OP. I'm going to see a doctor somewhere this week because I'm so done with this. I'm currently on the implanon nxt. I read onliene that long periods are pretty common with this birthcontrol, and that they usually last for about 6 months. so that is why I haven't been to a doctor yet. I'm also really scared of getting it out, don't like needles too much. I'm just going to wait it out till it stops, I don't have a boyfriend anymore so that is somewhat of a brightside.
FMLMaximus 23
It's really not bad getting it taken out. left a small scar on me but it's not bad. they numb you up like when they put it in. I had the same problems. my doctor wasn't too worried about it. I was on my period more than not. it was the safest choice for me. not wanting to risk damaging my uterus with an IUD or anything of the like. he had told me that taking an oral dose of progestrene daily would help make my cycle regular but it never did. hope it works out for you!
BlondePsycho 43
Thank you Captain Obvious!
snowflake_3325 7
This is only one of the reasons that most IUD's are a bad idea. They aren't 100% any more than any other kind of birth control and they can have horrendous side effects beyond prolonged bleeding. But to each their own. If you want a foreign object in ur lady parts, by all means.
doubleofuck 20
Aw hon that must be awful. I hope things improve with your cycle :)
juststephhere 23
How are you not dead?! I'm amazed you don't have an iron deficiency or something! I wouldn't be able to handle that! You should ask a doctor about that...
cakefete2 31
Never said she didn't. She's probably very anemic. Poor OP.
Mauskau 36
If women died from periods there wouldn't be very many women left.
thespiantess 18
But not many women are on their periods for 4 months straight, #66.
doodlecloud 27
It might be a light period than usual. If they're lighter they can go on for a while without being too serious (though of course, very annoying).
ZombieScoobyDoo 20
Period blood is not the same as normal blood. It's from the uterine wall, not the bloodstream. I use to bleed 3 weeks then be off for a week before it repeated. I'd bleed through ultra sized tampons in an hour. I'm not dead and this happened 5 years ago. Birth control helped fixed this. You can't die from this but it should definitely be checked out.
ChoolyBooly 32
You should get it checked by doctor OP but up until I got the Implanon in 2013 my periods were frequent and heavy. The birth control I am on is the only one i have tried that has reduced blood amount and length of period to a few days a month for me. I am 23....I bled like OP for 11 years of my life. Iron tablets and doctor check ups help keep you from being anemic and the doc keeps you from freaking out. However this sounds like a birth control side effect. If I you are the rare individual who bleeds like this due to a birth control then you need to switch your methods out with a doctor IMMEDIATELY.
Dannie1308 11
i had one for 9 months straight. it was horrible and yes i had an iron deficiency. i was 17 and my doctor had to put me on birth control and iron supplements.
homesuckfucker 28
As mentioned above, this is abnormal and you should see your gynecologist. Irregular periods are common when you first start birth control, but this isn't right.
lunarviolin 9
it's an IUD. it's normal for that type of birth control. I'm on it too haha but it's not a heavy period it's extremely light and you still get your normal period.
colvindj 22
so what's it like to experience hell for four straight months?
kozzard 17
Ask Dean Winchester
papygeorges 17
You should ask her soulmate.
SideOfTheAngels 23
You're my favourite.
Mossygirl357 12
That sucks! I would definitely go see your doctor soon.
djurmel89 30
As a woman, I salute you.