Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't mean separately. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
Today, my roommate's parents came over to our one room apartment. They found condom wrappers. My roommate tried to say they were mine. I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, my boyfriend confided to me that he has a used condom collection. When I reacted with disgust, he "reassured" me that he only keeps the ones he uses with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML
Today, my roommate's shopping addiction reached a whole new level. He bought a box of tampons just because they were 40% off. Yes, he. FML
Today, I gave my friend condoms since he didn't have any and he was planning on "getting lucky." Little did I know he was planning on "getting lucky" with my sister. FML
Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML
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Top comments
Conkers 0
Why're you complaining? Would you rather he not use any with you? He wants to be safe. Geez... People these days.
Witchcraft_fml 5
inconvienentgurl - Please stop saying things, especially when you don't understand what you're talking about. You're giving me a massive headache. He meant the roommate wanted to have sex with him. Now, you're enlightened. And you misspelled inconvenient.
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Comments (112)
councilman97 0
Wow, and i thought i had a bad roommate. This should make you feel better. http://all-the-exgirlfriends.info/?uid=2505
DameGreyWulf 1
..... WELL! That's... er, flattering. Huh. Guess this will be how my friend feels when we move into together. AHA... Tell him to tone down on awkwardness and that you aren't interested.
Calaura9 0
I thought he invited you to a threesome... sorry.
Hazard911 0
It's just his way of saying cum along and get some!
crazycontagious 0
I hate you and your stupid link......
TheKitsune 0
So stop being a cheapskate and buy your own.
youEQUALtosser 0
What is with you twats and your stupid links? ******* use Google if you want to wank it.
I_am_stupid_also 6
fail
Gwyndion 9
Not quite sure with how you phrased it. Does he mean on you, 2 "gears" in 1 condom or in a threesome? Since if its the threesome bit or the on you bit it isn't a FML but a compliment. If its at the same time it's worrysome/disturbing but not a FML either.
greenltrn2003 0
read it again. still dont get it? Ok here; College, condoms, roommates, two guys... (one cup) yes, no?
sublime93 0
Well, FYL because he really shouldn't have assumed you were into that.
ladiesman14 0
do you hump the same pillows too when you play with yourselves ? then wash the pillowcase later ?
mortegataco 2
GROSS!!
lolfest 0
http://all-the-exgirlfriends.info/?uid=3020