Today, I realized that trying to fit in with my crush's social circle by acting like one of the lads was a waste of time. All he does is high-five me all the time and tell me every little detail of his latest one night stands. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I recently starting having a huge crush on this one guy, my friend told me she told him about the crush, and that he reacted positively. I made a move, only to find out he has a partner. I've tried distancing myself to get over him but he befriended all my friends and is now in our group chat, and the crush has only intensified. FML
Today, I found out that yet another of my guy friends liked me. I then posted on social media that I just wanted a guy friend that had absolutely no romantic feelings for me. My crush volunteered. FML
Today, I told my crush I liked him. Instead of rejecting me or telling me that he might have felt similar, he decided to pretend to be dumb and clueless and just kept asking who my crush was. I found out later that he knew all along but he just wanted to ragebait me. FML
Today, I noticed my crush of almost 3 years was talking to me a lot more at school. He seemed genuinely comfortable around me, even playing with my rings during class. I thought maybe I had a chance. Nope. A mutual friend just told me he likes another girl. A girl who coincidentally looks just like me but skinnier. FML
Today, my friends told me that my crush was hooking up with another girl. I wouldn't have taken it that bad if he hadn't flirted with me all the time, giving me false hope. FML
Today, I asked my crush what music he was into, misheard his answer because of background noise, so I spent 5 minutes enthusiastically talking about a band he'd never heard of, thinking we were bonding. When he finally stopped me and clarified, I laughed too loudly out of shame, then knocked over my drink. FML
Today, after I confessed my feelings towards my long time crush two weeks ago and was rejected, he messaged me asking for a quick fuck, with no strings attached. I guess that’s all I am good for now. FML
Today, I got all excited because I thought my crush was flirting with me, when in actuality she was taking advantage of me liking her so she and her friends could make fun of my speech impediment. FML
Today, my friend invited me, his girlfriend, and the girl I like over to his house to hang out. We hoped it would get me closer to my crush. The day ended with them having a threesome and me locked out. FML
Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML
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Top comments
MaryFairy 3
This might sound cliche, but did you try being yourself?
asianinvasionn6 0
Well, that's one outcome for not being yourself and wanting to be accepted by everyone /:
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Comments (119)
xXSillyLoveXx 0
Highfive him back and tell him about your orgy last night
11grace18 5
Lmfao
refticon 32
Haha now that would be hilarious
badluckalex 23
that will definitely get his attention!
zanguard 0
Get a guy by acting like a guy... That's like a guy acting gay to get a girl. It only works in movies.
clw1740 0
At least you got to see how much of a douche bag he is. Maybe saved yourself from getting into one of his infamous one night standers.
Daralea 21
People who have one night stands aren't douche bags. People who lure women into thinking their in relationship just to sleep with them and leave are.
ragzy 7
Perfectly said 96. Before I met my girlfriend I enjoyed a party lifestyle and had a few one night stands. Not once did I pretend it was for a relationship and there was never tears caused by misunderstanding. Don't judge another persons lifestyle by assuming crap. My piece and I'm out!
punchline_fml 5
Guys don't want a lad for a girlfriend, they want a girl.
perdix 31
Get nailed by a bunch of random dudes so you can match your crush, story for story. Being a girl you should have an easier time getting laid, so you might outdo your crush. Maybe he'll be so impressed, he'll give you a roll in the hay.
lightburns 10
All these comments about how guys don't want a girl who acts like "one of the lads". How do you know that OP isn't also male?
SolanumX 6
Suggesting that he's gay? In that case, let me hit that YDI button. Oh and in the context of the FML that does make sense.
jizzwold 21
That's a good point but I just assume people are the norm unless they state differently.
picturescrazy 24
A straight dude doesn't want to date a dude... quit acting like a "lad" and just be yourself.
every1luvsboners 11
Whatever happened to the good ole days when I could go to my buddies place for a couple beers and end up in a barn somewhere in the middle of Missouri surrounded by pigs and cows whilst partaking in a circle jerk? You kids don't know what you're missing with these high-fives and pseudo sex stories. Be adventurous, damnit.
rhysfucker 24
Don't forget practicing with your cousin...have to learn somehow.
NinaTatianna 9
haha, "lad." love that word
You_Need_Soap 6
I was waiting for someone to say that! As an American I think I should start using that word... Often!
2ndSucks 15
Act like a girl, you might have more luck.