Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized that due to my anti-depressants, I can no longer orgasm. At. All. Which depresses me more. FML
Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML
Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML
Today, I realized I have been single for far too long when I was turning off porno after porno because I couldn't stand the horrible acting. FML
Today, I stopped watching porn at 6 a.m. to Google if depression makes you not able to cum. I was masturbating because I can't sleep. Insomnia is also a sign of depression. There's no joy at night anymore. FML
Today, I realized how bad my depression has gotten when I caught myself fantasizing about suicide while having sex with my husband. FML
Today, since splitting up with my girlfriend, I’ve watched so much porn I think I’ve given myself a friction burn on my clit, so now not only does it hurt to even walk normally, it’s way too painful to masturbate, so I’m now horny all the frigging time. FML
Today, I would rather pound to porn than have sex with my wife, because trying to get her in the mood is too much hassle. FML
Today, I was watching porn, and ended up bawling because the girl in the video looked like my ex. FML
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Top comments
Schizomaniac 24
Yeah, I always make girls pass a literacy test before I sleep with them. "I'm gonna rock your world after you identify the adverbs and correctly place commas in this sentence."
igive 29
Go to a bar, roofie up some drinks. If that doesn't work, prison is full of willing people.
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Comments (106)
rockfreak333 7
Ditto, and I have a girlfriend
ROSI3TH3CAT 18
So put on some lesbian **** and live a little! :)
Nymeriax 3
Yay, another member of NotGettingLaid club! Don't worry, you'll get there eventually. :)
moimoimoi125_fml 11
You forgot to let your address, I'm sure she would have showed up in no time :) Seriously, I don't get all those "damn you're hot" comments on the Internet...
The_Decider 8
Keep your chins up you'll get some one day
xRezSynn 15
Theres more to life than that
ultra_notorious 26
I feel your pain. I'm in the same boat.
theycallmekitty 13
I know that it's hard to get out when you're depressed but the longer you isolate yourself the more depressed you will become and in turn it will become even harder to push past it. I promise if you really try to get out there, you will feel much better and break the cycle. Good luck :)
bendovver 6
Who about we break the cycle an a bed spring or two!! ;)
Asoman 3
Every one of your ancestors got laid, so can you!
perdix 31
You can always purchase a prostitute. If you can imagine yourself in the ****, it's a cheap, clean and legal to get off. If you lack that kind of imagination, you have to plunge into the dangerous, expensive, illegal world of buying a "willing" partner.
jsanchez89 5
Yup worst case scenario op will have to pay for sex
jem970 19
I think the worst case will be getting a hooker crawling with disease..... he will still get laid tho. But im more of a "glass is half full" person....
perdix 31
#62, half full of what? Herpes?
xxEternalRain 13
If you stop relying on sex in a relationship maybe you might just get it. Get out more