Today, I realized that I'm a terrible human being. For the first time in my life, I gave some change to a homeless guy, but only so he'd get out of my face long enough for me to watch two other bums beating the crap out of each other over a sandwich. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a homeless guy in the street. It really upset me how everyone's spirit of giving vanished as soon as Christmas was over, so I said fuck it and gave him about $50 worth of money. I barely made it 10 feet away, when another guy mugged him for the money I just gave. FML
Today, I cut my nice and tasty home-made sandwich in half to give to a homeless man. He tasted it, pulled an unimpressed face, and then stuck it in his pocket. FML
Today, trying to do a good deed, I gave a homeless guy a $10 bill. As I walked away, he yelled after me, "You fucking bitch!" FML
Today, as I was out walking, one homeless man sitting with two others asked me for something to eat. Trying to do a good deed, I bought the three men a bag of apples. They then fought viciously over them before the first man chased me for handing them to "the wrong one." FML
Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
Today, I tried to give some change to a homeless man. My girlfriend pulled me away and ranted about how homeless people are all basically bastards who deserve their misfortune, and that I shouldn't give "our" money away. FML
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man. I gave him my sandwich, since he needed it more than me. Seconds later, he was attacked by a flock of birds. FML
Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML
Today, I gave a homeless man my last bit of spare change so he could get on the bus. Just as I was about to get on too, I realized I'd lost my bus card. I had to get off the bus and watch as the man waved at me through the window. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
superswagbro 7
You are an asshole.
Screwie 25
Everybody was kungfu fighting~
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (139)
ICastillo 25
Hey you got to watch the movie Bum Fights live was it good? But the real question is was it at least some good fisty cuffs?
murphdarkly 13
Fisticuffs
annie_nk 23
What are fisticuffs?
perdix 31
You should have given him a few bucks to join the fracas, and offer 10 bucks to the last man standing. Cheaper and more authentic than MMA.
ICastillo 25
Damn that would have started a battle royale for the ten dollars. It would be the WWE street bum style.
TrueTriage 16
Yeah I gotta go with perdix watching hobos fight is really entertaining! OP would be a terrible person if he set up and incited the fight. But givin change to a guy to watch it. Thats like buying a ticket.
Legendoflaw 4
How is that more authentic than MMA? I fought MMA for a long time before an auto accident as does my sons and my nephews and my uncle. There's nothing fake about it you moron! Get your ass in the cage and then tell me it's fake.
mrz1177 11
For the record I the HOBO got the sandwich. - Posted from my iPhone
LlamaUprising 10
That is amazing.
unknown_user5566 27
This may sound terrible, but I almost wish that you would've been included in the losing end of the fight. I'm not disgusted that this was the first time you ever gave to the needy, I'm disgusted that you actually took pleasure in watching a bum fight.
agonydrum 7
And I'm disgusted with every comment you've made on here, get over yourself, seriously there's nothing wrong with watching a fight and who cares why he gave money I doubt the bum cares if op is all self righteous like you are or if he just wanted to watch a fight
THE_A_TEEN 28
Judging by your comments, you seem to like getting on everybody's face and bitching about how "self-righteous" they are. Tell me, why are you so hellbent of defending this OP? Do you not get the memo that no one has the same opinion as you?
agonydrum 7
If people have different opinions than me it's because they're not as smart as me
Ajwc101 24
You're right, you are a terrible human being.
LolPieRofl 11
The question here is why are they fighting with their food when they can be eating it...
DamnKneeGrows 1
I would have done the same thing man!
Enslaved 38
Sounds like you're the next Don King.
secretsymbiote21 5
you did a good deed in a bad way. but dont worry! we all have wanted Hobos to leave us alone at some point.