Today, I realized that I'm a terrible human being. For the first time in my life, I gave some change to a homeless guy, but only so he'd get out of my face long enough for me to watch two other bums beating the crap out of each other over a sandwich. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a homeless guy in the street. It really upset me how everyone's spirit of giving vanished as soon as Christmas was over, so I said fuck it and gave him about $50 worth of money. I barely made it 10 feet away, when another guy mugged him for the money I just gave. FML
Today, I cut my nice and tasty home-made sandwich in half to give to a homeless man. He tasted it, pulled an unimpressed face, and then stuck it in his pocket. FML
Today, trying to do a good deed, I gave a homeless guy a $10 bill. As I walked away, he yelled after me, "You fucking bitch!" FML
Today, as I was out walking, one homeless man sitting with two others asked me for something to eat. Trying to do a good deed, I bought the three men a bag of apples. They then fought viciously over them before the first man chased me for handing them to "the wrong one." FML
Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
Today, I tried to give some change to a homeless man. My girlfriend pulled me away and ranted about how homeless people are all basically bastards who deserve their misfortune, and that I shouldn't give "our" money away. FML
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man. I gave him my sandwich, since he needed it more than me. Seconds later, he was attacked by a flock of birds. FML
Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML
Today, I gave a homeless man my last bit of spare change so he could get on the bus. Just as I was about to get on too, I realized I'd lost my bus card. I had to get off the bus and watch as the man waved at me through the window. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
superswagbro 7
You are an asshole.
Screwie 25
Everybody was kungfu fighting~
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (139)
piratezombi3 4
There is a reason there are bum fight videos online. I saw a fight once over an empty shopping cart. They are ruthless.
AverageIsh 2
I'm sorry but this absolutely made my day.
Purplejayy 6
Wow.
baileymarie102 6
Wtf is wrong with you?
John_Cards 2
This is why the world is so jacked up. No empathy from you swine.
mikepzz 27
I just died lol!!!! that's hilarious, you just keep on being douchey op, I find it entertaining
coop1993 0
I'd do the same thing
TheyCallMeDamien 18
aaahhh....humanity
loohoozuuhuur 13
I'm glad you realise that you are a terrible person. Now go and do something about it.
noisebox 1
I don't see that you did anything wrong but you did something a guy would do...