Today, I realized that as a result of working in an office which has an oddly-placed window, the direct sunlight has caused the left side of my face to become significantly darker than the right. Just call me Harvey Dent. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today I discovered that I'm so pale that I can lighten up any distant dark corner of the room just by placing my hand by a window and reflecting the light like a mirror. Imagine how bright it would be if I stood by the window naked. FML
Today, I'm so pale, my boss asked me whether I light up in the dark. FML
Today, I shaved my beard off. Turns out the skin under my beard is six shades lighter than the rest of my face. I look completely ridiculous. FML
Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML
Today, it was lovely outside so I decided to tan outside. I burn pretty easily, so I put on sunscreen. I fell asleep on my side, so when I woke up, I had a massive burn on only one side of my body, with sunglass lines. Tomorrow, I have a job interview. I'm going to go in looking like a racoon. FML
Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML
Today, I have bad adult acne. This wouldn't be so bad, except that it's only on one side of my face. I look like a Batman villain. FML
Today, I managed to multitask too much at work. I turned around, adjusted my glasses, swept hair out of my face, and blinked. In the process, I walked into my manager, causing me to simultaneously punch myself in the mouth. FML
Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML
Today, when I woke up, one half of my face was smooth and clear and the other half looked as if I got slapped by the Hand of Puberty itself. FML
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Top comments
honeybunches88 5
Maybe you should turn your desk around and get the other side tanned up too :)
portablecupid 3
Or close the damn window? Maybe get some blinds? You can't get a tan through glass because it filters out UV light, so either the dumbass is leaving the window open or he's lying.
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Comments (47)
Ozmat 0
thanks captain obvious
ImaginaryFoe 1
Most glass does not equal all glass. Also, filtering does not equal blocking completely. I drive all summer with the windows closed and always end up with one arm darker than the other, even with sunblock on.
guppy40000 0
tanning booth might be your best bet.
catatonicsleep 17
fake tan would be healthier or tinted moisturiser
ROFLBERRYPIE 0
YDI for not wearing sunscreen in an indoor office?
SirEBC 7
Questioning the validity of the story FTW.
lordcaliburx 0
open window and jump.
playboyintown 4
wear a mask to work!
Doortje 30
And? What did the almighty coin tell you?
wiggs5 0
so you can tab through a window?.... Hm
UpsidedownKayak 9
Riddler me this, how is it that it took you to became tanned on one side of your face to figure out you have a problem. Talk to your boss to see if you can work in the dark of knight, unless you like watching Robin in trees.