Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me. While having sex with my boyfriend, I fell asleep. He asked me what I was doing, and apparently I sleep-talked, saying "I'm chopping lettuce". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML
Today, after beating myself up for being useless and not being able to do anything right, I managed to choke almost to the point of blacking out, on a piece of lettuce. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. Soon, I noticed he was being very quiet. When I looked up, he was in a deep sleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while still giving me oral sex. FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML
Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend kept falling asleep while he was at my house with me. I tried to have sex with him to help wake him up, but he said he was too tired and fell back asleep. Five minutes later, my friend walks in the room with food. He woke up from the smell and got up to get some for himself. FML
Today, I fell asleep while taking a dump. At work. FML
Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML
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Top comments
SassyGoblin1198 9
On the other hand: "today, my girlfriend fell asleep on me during sex. She was having a good dream though. Of me? Oh no. She was dreaming of chopping lettuce. FML" ?
DishnobFruitCum 5
The real FML is that you fell asleep during sex. It would seem you need to straighten some things out with your boyfriend.
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Comments (51)
ndnpride88 25
Okay enough "lettuce" jokes. Feel bad for you op your bf needs to step up his game
iwanttogotoparis 26
There's a blow to his ego
mosquito19 14
the lettuce didn't care you fell asleep and finished what he was doing.
SkullsRules1 26
Something to laugh about in the future ;)
Sheepalicious 20
You certainly are a dedicated worker, OP!
anoniemm 13
As long as she can also handle the sausage everything is fine...
GunSlinger69 19
Then ask ''Why don't you dress it for me''?
RobinGoodfellow 47
Mmm, lettuce. Sexy.
gintwinsmoore 20
sounds like your boyfriend got some more ******* to do if you're falling asleep on his ass.
exoticwaved 9
Your bf should be the one with the FML since you fell asleep. I'm willing to bet that Sex with the bf reminds you of work because of a secret sexy coworker that does more than crush lettuce with you.
exoticwaved 9
Set of Dumbasses down voting me and the OP confirmed my suspicion that the bf sucked.