Anonymous
United States
Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my time trying to take a dump than actually working. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
Den Dungen, Netherlands
Where am I?
Today, I fell asleep while taking a dump. At work. FML
Anonymous
Wise words
Today, I realised that I live to work. I’m not even good at my job. FML
Petergibbons
This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff
United States
Life's good
Today, I realized I'd rather be constipated, sick, sit in long traffic lines, and inadvertently eat spoiled meat than spend another day at my shitty job. All things that happened to me today. FML
wtbfiber
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
United States
Give me strength
Today, my stomach muscles are still sore from yesterday. Not because I was doing sit-ups or working out or anything, but because I have to work that hard to take a dump. FML
wookieewhosshe
Cowdenbeath, United Kingdom
Never miss a chance to sit down
Today, I was so busy all the time that I actually got a thrill out of sitting down and taking the weight off my feet. On the toilet. FML
Anonymous
Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic
Money for whining
Today, I realized I get paid to hear my boss complain and talk crap. FML
Anonymous
Cape Coral, United States
Productivity
Today, I got fired from my job. Why? Apparently, taking 10 minutes to take a shit is too long for some people. FML
constipated
Today, I was fired from my job for being constipated. FML
DonPedro
United States
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
poomaster
United States
Today, I spent an hour at work trying to make a tortoise poo. When he finally did, I was so excited and felt pretty triumphant. Then I realized that my job was to make animals drop their load. FML
Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
Shitty job, eh?
3rere 0
your bored and the first thing you do to kill time is take a dump?
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Comments (94)
whatever2304 0
yup, your the first person ever to hate their job. fyl!
plexico 4
I feel like Lt. Columbo because I have more questions. Do you pull your feet up on the seat so no one can see your feet under the bottom of the stall? Or, do you keep multiple pairs of shoes under your desk and change often, so people coming into the bathroom don't see the same pair of shoes all day?
Intoxicunt 6
That wouldn't work on me, due to the fact that I peer through the crack and try my best to actually make eye-contact...
lets_be_ian 5
that is the hard way... just take an auto mechanic gurney with you. There is usually always enough room to just roll under the door and see what folks are really up to. And if they are as constipated as OP must be then having a strange person roll under the door while they are on the porcelain alter should scare some out of them... now you have satisfied your curiosity as well as provided a valuable service to the shiter.
phoenix_dawn 0
Wow. Wow.
JoeyImage 0
lame. stupid. gay.
akkid17 0
pure win. u don't need to change a thing
PlusShipping 0
Woah, I thought I was the only one, I'm in the crapper now...
afailing 0
not FML STFU!
lets_be_ian 5
I agree.. break it down and let us know. Do you count dollars per hour on toilet? Dollar per turd? Or perhaps break it down by weight? What exactly is the accepted scale to determine the cost/wage per unit of shit. In fact what is the standard metric unit for shit. Maybe that will help us all figure out exactly how much a "shit load" really is.
SincosTann 0
I loving you grammar,
penisface69 17
Mom?