Today, after a long work shift, I was so tired that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep. When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and was about to die. I only realized it was stationary after I pissed myself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took a quick nap in my car during my lunch break. I'd set an alarm but forgot to turn my car off, having switched the AC on due to the blistering heat. The cool air lulled me to sleep. When I woke up, my boss was knocking on my window. Apparently, I'd knocked the car into neutral and it had rolled into his parking spot. FML
Today, I decided I'd take a nap in my car because I got to work very early. As I was waking up from my nap, I saw a cop looking right at me. Turns out, a lady who'd parked her car right next to mine after I was asleep had called the cops on me because she thought I was dead. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the bus after a long day. I woke up to the driver nudging me, saying, "End of the line, mate." I had no idea where I was, and it was raining. FML
Today, I took a nap on my couch. I woke up three hours later to my neighbor knocking on my door, asking if I was OK because looking from the outside in, they thought I was dead. Guess I sleep like I’ve been hit by a truck. FML
Today, I fell asleep in a taxi. So did the taxi driver. FML
Today, I passed out in my car in a McDonald's parking lot. I got woken up by a cop. FML
Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on a bus. When I awoke suddenly, half of the bus was staring at me, with some people chuckling and smiling. I have no idea what I did. FML
Today, after doing a graveyard shift at work, I took the bus home. I fell asleep on the way and woke up 25 miles away from my bus stop. I took another bus heading back and couldn't stay awake. I then woke up where I started from. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, I got home from working 14 hours straight, went to take a dump, and fell asleep on the toilet. I woke up later on the floor, covered in shit and piss, with my alarm going off, an hour before I was due back at work. FML
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Top comments
Ameel_fml 19
On the bright side, you did the right thing by pulling over for a nap and the worst-case-scenario was that you pissed yourself. So...at least you're not dead.
codyjohn17 5
Wow, that must've scared the shit out of you! Wait...
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Comments (64)
PostItSticker 11
I just pissed myself laughing. Stationary, a truck.
MissMess 12
Did #1 misunderstand the FML and confuse stationary/not moving with stationary/office supplies or are they really just not funny?
Shrike 24
Probably both, though it's "stationEry" for the office supplies, "stationAry" for an unmoving object.
codyjohn17 5
Wow, that must've scared the shit out of you! Wait...
Ameel_fml 19
On the bright side, you did the right thing by pulling over for a nap and the worst-case-scenario was that you pissed yourself. So...at least you're not dead.
flea_of_death 23
I completely agree. I'd take piss in the pants over being dead from falling asleep at the wheel any day
Enslaved 38
"I'm awake I'm alive Now I know what I believe inside Now it's my time I'll do what I want 'cause this is my life"
Blackcatluck 19
My cat ears enjoy the sound of skillet singing about being a zombie
mrperspire 4
"Cause I'm awake and Im alive!!"
staychill 16
At least it wasnt actually moving and you didnt fall asleep driving :)
wlddog 14
How much you wanna bet OP did not fall back to sleep for a while??
deOrca 8
I know a guy who did the same exact thing but instead of pissing himself, he slammed the breaks so hard that he broke his foot. So at least that didn't happen as well.
infamoushack 10
Be glad you're alive :)
Enslaved 38
Dude! That's why you take your naps in the back seat instead!
Zeldafreak101 3
sleep tight...
fishstick557 14
Sorry OP but that's pretty funny
perdix 31
Couldn't you mash the brakes while you were peeing?
Alexis2742 31
"when I awoke"... Haha who says that
CoffeeChickBlows 13
People with an education, haha.
Alexis2742 31
"When I woke up" sounds way smarter
Shrike 24
Just when I thought people couldn't get any more idiotic, Alexis2742 comes along.
NicaLovesDisney 17
In what way does that possibly sound smarter? Even my ten year old sister knows that "awoke" sounds better than "woke up".
misspulkadot24 17
Lmao, totes Alexis!!! I get you gurl! Dont listen to these looserz, they are jst totes medieval!!! Whoops. Sorry, my inner 12 year old related with you.
Alexis2742 31
At least I'm not 30 years old or an ugly chick and have nothing better to do than criticize peoples thoughts.
cornmuffin62 4
Alexis, what's wrong with being 30 years old?? And I can't even think of something to say after, "an ugly chick". You're what's wrong with this generation.
Alexis2742 31
Then explain why none of your 6 FML's you've submitted have been chosen :)
andyyroxx 20
Explain why you can't admit you made a little mistake. Heck, you even got a comment moderated.
puzzle05 9
Now would be the time to stay quiet and leave with the small dignity you might have left... Just a heads up..
BulldogHoops 14
It's completely irrelevant how many FML's of his have been approved. What is relevant, on the other hand, is that he's not a complete and total dumbass. FTFY
CamcAmIaM 10
If you didn't get a proper education, sure.
hannaaaahr 33
HAHAHA ohhhh sweetheart, you're hilarious, I really hope English isn't your first language, otherwise this would be pretty sad..
upallnight11 19
Omg, are you serious? English isn't my first language and even I know this.
ShyAnn29 15
It's so weird how people think someone is stupid for speaking correctly, I told someone on a different app to not be rude, and they said "Who says rude?" lol I was speechless.
valleyshooter 8
Alexis you ****** up when you came into fml stating that awoke sounds dumb. You have to be new. But come on grammar nazis did you all have to gang up on her? Reading that gave me the imagery of her limbs being torn apart from all different angles. Must have been the way you swarmed in on her like hyenas.