Today, I realised the extent of my wife's cat obsession when I received an $850 bill for the air conditioner she leaves on for our 5 cats while we are at work. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend asked me if I could watch her mother's cats while they go on vacation. I agreed since her house is on my way to work. When I talked to her mother, I found out she has 30-something cats. She reckons she lost count. FML
Today, I told my wife if she wanted to get a divorce, she just had to get a cat since I'm deathly allergic. She got two. FML
Today, I was over at a friend's house feeding her cats while she was on vacation. After feeding the four of them, I found an extra cat under the sofa. Thinking it was an intruding stray, I kicked it out. She actually has 5 cats. FML
Today, I got a call at work. My cat somehow managed to lock my boyfriend and dog out of the house. The rental manager charged us $25 to open the door. The cat seems quite pleased with herself. FML
Today, my wife brought home a kitten, telling me it had been abandoned. She must think I’m dumb, since our credit card statement shows that all last week she bought it from a breeder, then got it vaccinated and chipped at the vet's, and only now brought it home to feed me this pack of lies. FML
Today, I had to buy more supplies for the cat my friend asked me to pet sit for 2 weeks. Her 2-week vacation ended over 3 years ago. FML
Today, my cat kept sneezing all morning so I took her to the vet. $150 later and the vet says she's fine. I get home and the noise starts up again. My automatic air freshener spray sounds just like my cat sneezing. FML
Today, my neighbor let me know that they've been taking care of my cats while I was away, including letting them in and out of my house. I don't own a cat. FML
Today, my wife got drunk and adopted a kitten. She thought I’d be mad because of the money. Nope, I’m pretty sure I’m mad because I have the most severe type of cat allergy that could kill me. I can’t go in the house now until everything is sterilised, so I’m back at my dad's house. FML
Today, I was awakened at 5:30 a.m. Did my dog need to go out? No. Did my alarm go off? No. My neighbor's asshole cat was on my window AC, scratching at my window, before pissing on the AC and jumping off. If I turn it on, my bedroom will reek of cat piss. The high today will be near 90. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
If you have to pay through the nose to keep five ******* cool to keep one pussy warm, ya just shut up and do it. Or start learning yoga.
Smeelover27 15
I'd make a cat pun but I'm not feline it anymore.
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Comments (136)
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
I thought crazy cat ladies were single? Looks like this one is about to be anyway :)
perdix 31
No, my brother and his wife have a bunch of flea-infested cats . . .without producing a single cousin for my daughter!
Nicholi124 10
That's bad Ik exactly what she needs.... Kids!! And I'm talking humans not those cats.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
Human children are far more expensive than cats.
Nicholi124 10
True but at least spend your money on something that makes sense not stupid cats lol
WaywardDaughter 26
Oh like the newest iPhone or a pair of highly overpriced headphones?! The cost of both of those items would likely feed at least one cat for a year.
photoquilty 6
You should've realized it once you had 5 cats. Keeping the AC on for one's pets isn't obsessive; it's humane.
Dramori 29
Get her to pay it herself. Her pets. Her problem.
isallwaysme 27
Notice, "my wife." I'm pretty sure they'd be sharing a family bank account.
Dramori 29
Not necessarily, I know plenty of married people who don't share bank accounts.
FarFromSocial 9
Tell her the cats insist on her paying the bill.
pdp_fml 21
Those cats must be very important. You must have a good enough job to pay for your electric bills. Tell her that cats don't need that much air conditioning to be happy.
Enslaved 38
The "5" cats should have been the indication of that obsession but that $850 bill would have probably been the same if it was only the one cat you owned. ***Guilty! I leave the AC on while I'm at work just for my cat's sake. Gotta make sure he's nice and cool. (:
Zanquis 22
The fact that she has 5 cats was not enough to give you a hint? 1 cat oke, a second maybe to keep first company when you are away k maybe a way to buy off feelings of guild. (not that cats care much they prefer to sleep most of the day anyway) But anything after that is already obsessive behavior.
AnyaS 19
Considering how many homeless cats are out there I think having just one or two is more insane than taking in more if you are able to care for them.
Whiplash169 22
Today, I realized the extent of how ****** you are. FYL
CheeseHater 23
I love cats too, but wow.