Today, I found out that the girl who I'm really into, and hoped to have a longer term relationship with, has caught threadworms, herpes, and COVID-19 from me. One way to get friendzoned. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML
Today, I found out I have an STD, courtesy of my girlfriend. Funnily enough, she was clean when we first started dating. FML
Today, I found out the girl I gave my virginity to gave me gonorrhea. FML
Today, I found out my long distance girlfriend gave me chlamydia, after I spent $1k to fly her out for a week. I paid for an STD delivery. FML
Today, I found out that my ex (he's 35) tried soliciting sex from one of my friend's daughters (she's 22) and a few other friends as well. To make it all worse, I just found out this fuckboy has herpes, and contracted it while cheating on me. FML
Today, we're in the middle of a contagious deadly pandemic, and despite not having physical/sexual contact with anyone in over a year, I managed to contract herpes. I don't even know how I got it. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Then my COVID test came back as positive. FML
Today, I learned I don't have a yeast infection. I have herpes. FML
Today, I got a call from my girlfriend of 13 months. She told me that she had gotten chlamydia from the guy she cheated on me with, and that I most likely have it too. I gave her a diamond ring, she gave me chlamydia. FML
Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
With friends like that, who needs enemies?!?!? After plaguing her with all of these diseases when you were literally into her, I'm surprised you're even allowed in the friend zone. She should ship you off to the leper colony!
spinningrecords 14
WTF? …And You are upset about getting friend zoned?
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Comments (8)
spinningrecords 14
WTF? …And You are upset about getting friend zoned?
RichardPencil 32
With friends like that, who needs enemies?!?!? After plaguing her with all of these diseases when you were literally into her, I'm surprised you're even allowed in the friend zone. She should ship you off to the leper colony!
JackWood 21
I take it you don't know how these are spread?
yahok 3
You seem very un clean, also you should wash your hands more. Yucky.
Dirtysalamander1 13
step outside I want to talk to you for a minute. but first let me wear my hazmat suit.
SirEnigM0nk 22
Better be careful where you leave him...the EPA might have some commentary.
diraven 15
What are you talking about? Sharing horrible diseases with each other is romantic.
bobsanction 18
Be thankful that's all she did to you.