Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML
Today, my upstairs neighbor congratulated me on keeping him up 'til dawn with my girlfriend and the chick in the apartment next to us. He doesn't know how I got them to agree to a threesome. Since I was at my folks all weekend, neither do I. FML
Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML
Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed. I'm at work. FML
Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML
Today, after 3 days of interrupted sleep, I confronted my new neighbor about the noise his wife keeps making during their "private time". He then let me know the noise is actually from his daughter, who's mentally disabled and isn't taking the move well. FML
Today, my girlfriend and her best friend came home after a long night. They both hopped into the bed and were very insistent that I join them. I said I felt weird about it and slept on the couch. The next morning, my pissed off girlfriend said that they wanted a threesome but I killed the mood. Fuck, I'm an idiot. FML
Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML
Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML
Today, a kid walked in on me and my new FWB having sex at her place. I knew she had children, so I asked if it was hers. No, it was her son's. I'm boning a grandma who's not even 50. FML
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Top comments
56578 0
I think she said it to make you uncomfortable... Yeah, she may want to have a threesome, but the purpose of the comment was to tell you to not be so loud.... I must say though, if you were loud enough for her to hear you at night, without her hearing aids, you're either really pleasing your girlfriend or she's faking it in a big way. Hopefully, you're just really good in bed.
cucumberfabulous 7
That's uhhh.......kind of disturbing
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Comments (84)
athos1237 4
YDI for making up stories about your grandma wanting to have a threesome. Wouldn't have been a FML anyway. You'd be lucky if anyone suggested the threesome, but don't ring granny in the mix.
benshady 0
Why would you refuse? Granny sex is awsome!
youaresofucked 0
you all sicken me!
superkid 0
"well this is awkward..."
littlegoldwoman 0
Awww poor grandma. Shes probably at it than both of you. LOL
gothymama 0
Ok #1, FYL because eww... grandma's asking for threesomes are nasty. #2 YDI because You live in an apartment, you've gotta keep it down! I heard my upstairs neighbors doing it all the time. It's annoying! They'd actually wake me up at night! It was horrible! I don't know if someone let them know they were being incredibly loud or what, because they seemed to have quieted down. That or they're losing that "spark"... Either way, I'm glad!!!
Marcus86 0
Thats not so much an FML as it is just awkward.
n030992 0
FYL coz that was weird but YDI becoz u were having sex when u have a neighbour who resembles ur grandma!
painandpeace 0
You shoulda went for it.
mr_weezydawg13 0
Jerk!!! You shoulda been done it why not give her some pleasure before she's close to dying? That's just rude respect ur elders when they want to butt **** YDI for not ******* her right there xD