Today, I went to Target with my dad, and he told me to get in the shopping cart. I thought he was being cool and wanted to push me around. He snorted and said he was thinking about crashing me into a car and suing the driver. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML
Today, my dad approached two girls at a store and told them I'd crashed into their car. They didn't find it funny either. FML
Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML
Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML
Today, I drove my dad to Walmart to do some shopping. His leg is still in a cast after an accident, so I helped him to the last mobility scooter. A guy whose only disability was clearly Fat-Fuck Syndrome then yelled at us, claiming he needed it more and that my dad was a faker. FML
Today, for some reason, my amazing dad told me to slide down towards a pole on a car tire while tobogganing down a hill and I hit the tire, consequently getting hurt in the head. I love my dad but something must've gone wrong that day. FML
Today, I illicitly borrowed my dad's car to go to the store, but crashed into my mom's car as she and dad were returning from my grandma's house. Both cars are totalled, my mom is in hospital with a broken collarbone, and I realised dads really can make steam come out their ears if they’re really mad. FML
Today, my dad forced me to leave my empty shopping cart in the middle of a store, rather than return it to the corral. My dad’s word is law, and all I can think about is how much of an asshole I am. FML
Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML
Today, I borrowed my dad's car to run a quick errand, which he never lets me do. I thought I’d got away with it until he got home and started yelling. I forgot, dad always reverses into driveways, while I prefer to drive straight in, and I'd parked his car facing the wrong way. FML
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Top comments
TJhudson181 12
How old are you again? If you're over like 8, YDI.
Cashtangoteam 10
I'm sorry, but it's fun as hell to be pushed around in the shopping cart, regardless of how old you are.
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Comments (68)
TJhudson181 12
How old are you again? If you're over like 8, YDI.
thepersonyouknow 9
how would she deserve it if shes over 8?
oj101 33
#12 because you're only small enough take a ride in a trolley off a parent when you're 8 and under. Generally, it's a thing younger kids do, and not mature adults.
Cashtangoteam 10
I'm sorry, but it's fun as hell to be pushed around in the shopping cart, regardless of how old you are.
biggestfan23 11
#29 when you get older its only fun when you're drunk
wallandpiece 16
Being pushed around in those things is really fun, regardless of age. Even if it's not fun, does OP deserve to be pushed in front of a car for it?
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
Yeah come on guys, if he's over 8 he deserves to get hit by a car! What has FML come to.
pradip 26
I don't think a girl below 8 knows to post a FML. So OP FYL
mjh1223 3
Wait, what?
ALlamaOnFire 20
Read it again. Comment something more... Relevant. I understand you want to get right at the top, but what's the point if you'll only get thumbed down?
g02hell 2
Dude you need to loosen up. You're taking this way to seriously.
2pepper3 10
I'm pretty sure it doesn't work that way...
pickles1994 18
I'm pretty sure it's very possible, just saying.
Marrach 7
Guy: Sir, I really don't see a reason as to why your son was in the shopping cart at that age..
Wishez 12
If your more than 10 years old, why would you want to be pushed around in a shopping cart?
Enslaved 38
Because it'll be fun! You could pretend to be Speed Racer!(:
gg215 6
If you're human why would'nt you want to be pushed in a cart lol
Misswildsides 22
I still get a kick out of it. I also enjoy standing on the bar at the bottom of the cart and pushing myself around on it. :)
Wishez 12
42- that I can agree with, I just can't see being in the cart is all.
RIPmitchlucker 0
Why wouldn't you want to be pushed around in a shopping cart?
outoftown 27
#44, It's one of the few benefits for kids who are small for their age.
kooochris1995 14
That is being cool OP.
DocBastard 40
If he's really that desperate for money, he should try selling plasma or sperm or a kidney. This sounds like something the Jackasses would do. There's a reason they called themselves that.
mario2012 18
I love those movies.
sofia_palermo 1
it's illegal to sell an organ
DocBastard 40
Maybe where YOU come from its illegal. Where I live, people sell organs all the time. Livers, kidneys, eyes, brains, you name it.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
What's the going rate for a kidney and one... no wait I need the cash... both eyeballs?
Meettitan 14
60- An arm and a leg.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
62- Do they have to be my own arm and leg?
FuzzyJack 15
I'm really wondering how old you are.. Being pushed around in a cart by your dad doesn't sound very cool to me.
djinnsnme 19
Who doesn't love being pushed in a shopping cart!
trivel64 16
Someone had a crappy childhood.
freckleface221 19
Being cool has nothing to do with it buddy.
JJJJJakkkkeee 6
Why didn't he complete the task?
kroekdog 7
Probably would have worked, too.
cheekyterier 13
'Murica
ConBroChilll 9
You Candadians just don't get it, huh. Its a shame.
MissMae93 23
30 - Oh no, don't get it twisted. She's 14 - that's where the issue is. I can't count the number of times I've ridden in a shopping cart. It's exceptionally fun with a good layer of ice/snow on the ground.
cheekyterier 13
i was referring to the fact he wanted to sue, not the shopping carts; my friends and i take them to our frozen pond in the winter and race across it, its the best xD