Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with, "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. The first thing my dad did was comment that given how pretty she looked in our photos, and compared to how she looks in real life, she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML
Today, I told my family that I have a girlfriend, and showed them her Facebook. They immediately started taking bets on when I’d mess it up, when she’d dump me, whether she actually existed, if I’d just made a fake Facebook, or whether she was a pro I hired. I hate my siblings. FML
Today, my girlfriend refused to take a picture with me to prove to my friends that I do indeed have a girlfriend. I got so desperate that I photoshopped myself into one of her Facebook photos instead. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML
Today, I was looking at my friend's dad's Facebook pictures because he recently posted a status update. I saw him at a bar with some ugly hooker that he was feeling up in almost every picture. After about 10 minutes of ridiculing and laughing at this ugly woman, I realize it's my mom in a wig. FML
Today, my dad finally added me on Facebook, When I looked through his photos, I quickly noticed he'd heavily photoshopped the photos I'm in to make me look prettier. FML
Today, I posted a picture of me without makeup on Facebook. A "friend" commented, "fuk me thts hideus!!" My dad replied, "Hideous, yes, just like your godawful spelling!" My mom yelled at my dad for agreeing with the guy, and they're still fighting. Meanwhile, my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML
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Top comments
TheFamilyElf 17
He might just be on to something.
mhopper 13
He's absolutely right!
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Comments (138)
COOL__Coal 12
YDI for dating a duck-faced freak regardless of social status
COOL__Coal 12
Well YDI for dating a duck-faced freak
maxmmoreau1 1
Dump the duck
perdix 31
He's right. She could be part platypus -- that's where the duck-bill came from! You don't want to be fertilizing the eggs of some bizarre mammal/reptile hybrid.
unknown_user5566 27
Oh dear lord. The image of a half-human, half-platypus baby just popped into my head. Not pleasant, folks. Not at all.
reallytho3 11
Damn when u put it tht way...
stephanieeDawnx 0
I like.... platypi? Or is it platypuses?
dethbunny 0
It's platipussies
zoPwNAgEzo 21
Platypussies
steelflax 5
Wtf is rong with u
felixthemaster 6
platypi
SolanumX 6
The -i is for words with Latin origins I tthhiinnkk. So platypuses is probably correct.
sexxxysydney 14
He's right.
giantdwarf 0
Your dad isn't elitist, he just has standards..
unknown_user5566 27
I cannot wait until the "duck-face" fad is over.
sirsquab 12
You do realize it will then be replaced by something just as bad.
klovemachine 24
I can't wait till stupid people stop voting YDI on FML's like this one :D
Zomg_Okay 27
97 - He considers a duck-woman-thing beautiful. He completely deserves this.
unknown_user5566 27
91- Yes, I do realize that. When a new ridiculous fad takes over, I won't be able to wait until that one ends as well.
GaleIsHawt 5
Agreed! Duck faces are so ugly.
DestinyRae7 2
He is smart!
zainrock 2
He's elitist and in England that usually implies that he also has a degree from a top Uni, will have super-rich and obnoxious friends, works a high level job or owns miles of land and is too rich to know what a gas bill looks like. Taking all that into consideration, you really want to try and somehow prove him wrong and keep a gf who should be back on Phineas and Ferb?
tweetbaby14 18
Well they live in Australia, so what does being labeled as elitist imply if one resides there?
GothicAngel17 24
In Australia it'd imply he wears shoes instead of thongs, and drives a Toyota of any sort instead of a commodore xD
the_enigma1019 1
Well then, guess you have to keep looking then...
MuhammadsTeenGF 0
He's right though...