Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with, "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. The first thing my dad did was comment that given how pretty she looked in our photos, and compared to how she looks in real life, she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML
Today, I told my family that I have a girlfriend, and showed them her Facebook. They immediately started taking bets on when I’d mess it up, when she’d dump me, whether she actually existed, if I’d just made a fake Facebook, or whether she was a pro I hired. I hate my siblings. FML
Today, my girlfriend refused to take a picture with me to prove to my friends that I do indeed have a girlfriend. I got so desperate that I photoshopped myself into one of her Facebook photos instead. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML
Today, I was looking at my friend's dad's Facebook pictures because he recently posted a status update. I saw him at a bar with some ugly hooker that he was feeling up in almost every picture. After about 10 minutes of ridiculing and laughing at this ugly woman, I realize it's my mom in a wig. FML
Today, my dad finally added me on Facebook, When I looked through his photos, I quickly noticed he'd heavily photoshopped the photos I'm in to make me look prettier. FML
Today, I posted a picture of me without makeup on Facebook. A "friend" commented, "fuk me thts hideus!!" My dad replied, "Hideous, yes, just like your godawful spelling!" My mom yelled at my dad for agreeing with the guy, and they're still fighting. Meanwhile, my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML
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Top comments
TheFamilyElf 17
He might just be on to something.
mhopper 13
He's absolutely right!
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Comments (138)
TheFamilyElf 17
He might just be on to something.
Viciousstorms 7
Duck faces are unarguably shameful. Listen to your old man OP.
opendoorclosed 8
In an study conducted by the University of Immakingthisup, women who "duckface" in pictures have an IQ 20% lower to average. Good call by dad.
PrimeEvilTahir 24
I don't understand how OP could find a woman who duck faces beautiful?! Kudos to dad for putting his kid on the right path!
TheSnakeDoctor20 17
15- that's where I got my masters degree in bullshittery!
NzaHaFML 13
Lol your boss knows his stuff. Duckfaces. Where girls try hard to look good but end up looking like shit.
X_Codes 11
He is definitely on to something.
NzaHaFML 13
*dad. Sorry I misread. =/
PrimeEvilTahir 24
35 - you should also look into their 'fullofshit' PhD program. I hear it has a high demand in politics!
dubstep12 8
Don't you mean dad?
runnamuk 6
You're accusing your dad of being an elitist? You're bragging about the appearance of your girlfriend in an attempt to gain status in his eyes.... Apparently the apple doesn't fall far from the shallow, elitist tree.
lifesaventure 7
Only he clearly knows what is better than other people. You put beauty ahead of duck facing. No wonder you can't get his approval; you fail even as an elitist.
SailorSolaris 43
What is duckfacing? I don't get it.
mhopper 13
He's absolutely right!
Poopolicious 5
Now lets go duck hunting! :)
TheNewGuy03 29
I got the gun. I hope one of you has a dog. |the kid|
NuTrees 9
This father knows well
TheNewGuy03 29
It's a Duck Hunt reference. -_- |the kid|
VoteForTaco 8
Can't blame the dad for knowing what's best.
XxHoPPoxX 8
Bloody bills |thekid|
kitkatknicknack 12
You can't judge a person by one lousy picture. If your dad doesn't approve of your girlfriend based on one lousy Facebook picture, then it's his problem not yours.
PlaySpades 21
129- It's the picture she wants everyone to see first. I say the dad is spot on with this one.
TheNewGuy03 29
Sorry, I put the second comment in there in case people didn't "get it," because it got thumbed down. Disregard my previous comment. |the kid|
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Well, duck faces ARE stupid-looking.... Sorry he put it like that, though!
igive 29
The wise father spoke only in truth.
doctorhook86 25
Duckface can be ****'d and chuck'd, but DoucheDad is forever. FYL, OP.
DeLpHe3zY 7
you dont say
NeatNit 33
Is it normal that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't not read this in Fluttershy's voice?
Dr0reos 8
OP youre dad is doing gods work *Salutes* *sheds single man tear* there are still a few good men left.
Shrouds 14
Cant say he doesnt have a point.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Quack quack!
ShadesOfBlue5 9
Quack attack
Blah201 6
I read that in her voice. Hahaha!!
felisaa 5
Great advice(:
moonsxstars 6
Actually listen to him! He knows what he is talking about
Screwie 25
Duckface ain't cool, do tell her to maybe swap her profile pic.
greenie213 23
Duckfacers don't deserve a second chance man.
OnlyOnFML 0
If you stay with her, be careful. I heard duck hunting season is on its way.
zainrock 2
Ssshhhhh I usually hunt wabbits
EdenLis 14
Loool
SkateboardGirl88 11
And wabbitt theathon
bhai33 9
I still dont understand how girls think duck faces are attractive
BlanketHogger 0
As a girl my self I looked up why. It is shown to make a womens lips look larger and fuller without the cost of plastic surgery. Now it just makes women look dumb.
ghostlilac 25
I've heard that most girls do it because they're self-conscious about smiling, so they emphasize their lips instead. Being a girl myself, I don't quite understand either and think this trend is obnoxious.
emilyjgraham 34
duck face is just a normal pout gone extremely wrong! you can make your lips look bigger without making it look like a hoover has caught them by surprise!