Today, I woke up to a guy outside my house, who wanted to give me flowers and take me out on a date. Aside from it all being pretty fucking creepy anyway, the guy is my not quite right in the head second cousin, who's apparently now head-over-heels in love with me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a guy professed his love for me in front of my friends. The guy is my first cousin. FML
Today, I found out the guy i've been crushing on might be my cousin. Again. FML
Today, I received a new like on a dating site… from my extremely creepy second cousin. FML
Today, the boy I like, came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML
Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML
Today, the guy I'm in love with invited me out to a gig with him and his friends, only to then try to set me up with his friend. FML
Today, I spent 30 minutes listening to my crush complain about a stalker that's been sending her flowers and love poems almost every week. It's me. FML
Today, while at the supermarket, a complete stranger ran up to me, got down on his knee and confessed his love for me. He was obviously mentally unstable, so I gently declined. He started crying very loudly in front of everyone. I still don't have a clue who he was. FML
Today, the creepy guy I turned down for a date almost six years ago, sent me a box of rotting flowers with a note calling me a cunt. FML
Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML
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Top comments
jupiter7 4
Well you are from Texas.
ColdplaySucks 18
Cousin marriage: never will understand why the hell people like it.
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Comments (181)
jupiter7 4
Well you are from Texas.
dkhehra88 5
Lol you got that right
COOL__Coal 12
Only a real dumb ass would think Texas when they hear this.
reallytho3 11
Anything goes in texas...
jupiter7 4
I didn't just randomly think "Incest? Must be Texas." OP put Texas down as where she is from.
COOL__Coal 12
No but that was your reason when you saw the location
unknown_user5566 27
COOL_Coal- Please get the stick out of your ass, and take a joke.
alexup24 13
Wouldn't it be Alabama?
MCRaddict15 15
I'm from Texas and everyone I know would flip the shit out if I told them I was with my second cousin. Then again..,stereotypes are pretty common here.
mickyb10 13
More like ohio
hbbs93 6
Lmao I thought it was Arkansas. Gotta love stereotypes.
nofearjenshere 12
^^ I'm from Ohio, oh no! :b
teezy21 4
Arkansas is were incest is
TheBurntIce 5
Is where incest is what? Acceptable? A mundane practice? Frowned upon? Endorsed? Bwah.... I.. Must.. Know.. *dies of suspense*
happle 21
I'm half Arkansas... I must be half incest.
somanywords 0
How are you half a state?
browncurls12 8
How are you half arkansas?
patrickalamo 48
Texas, a concealed handgun state. Tell his parents to have him go away and not come back. He's not right in the head. Avoidance and arm yourself.
taylor_hicks_42 1
You idiot. I'm from Arkansas and I have never met anyone that in incest. The same Goes for all of the states mentioned, though the original comment is obviously a joke and not really offensive. Let's just stop stereotyping.
vanessaizawesome 8
Why would it be Alabama?
mrbobmarley4 8
Why not take a joke?
Tylerdre 6
Tasmania just saying.
riax 9
Agreed, tassie. apparently the first settlers bred through incest and now there are some crazy hill billies in the woods near the old mines :/
VoodooDoll9 0
That's Mississippi, not Texas.
bengermin 5
Can we all just make fun of Mississippi like we southerners always do? If it weren't for Mississippi, my state (Alabama) would be the worst in a lot of categories.
Tylerdre 6
140- just watch the movie dying breed preety messed up movie about tasmania but also funny at the same time xD my friend showed me the movie and hes from tasmania xD
hecallsmedarlin 7
I wouldn't think Texas, I would think Louisiana .. Or west Virginia..hills have eyes was filmed there.
samiluvsyew00 4
Perry county....
sonotyourlady 1
Well OP here, (I know the name is diff) I thought that you might want to know that this didn't take place in Texas. But it's interesting to see that location is such a huge deal. lol
Numeral 4
155 I agree. Alabama may be bad but at least we are not Mississippi. That place is God awful
ThatsJustGreatxx 4
**** u ..... I'm from texas :(
maebelline12 12
I'm from Vegas,what do u hav say bout that?we can be pretty ****** up here at times...;)
Trollgod 13
You should think before opening your mouth and perpetuating an offensive stereotype
slenderman1234 2
I believe that Arkansas is the cousin state
JulesLandry 8
Lol no Mississippi
moonsxstars 6
Well he must have always looked up to you....
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I look up to my cousins too. Doesn't mean I wait outside their house and ask them on dates. Just saying.
BehindU 5
It was a inbrededly unfunny pun attempt.
awagh666 14
Looked up her skirt maybe...
Hiimhaileypotter 53
#103: "Inbrededly"? What the hell does that mean?
ColdplaySucks 18
Cousin marriage: never will understand why the hell people like it.
PrimeEvilTahir 24
Pro - chances are you know your cousin more in depth than a girl/boy friend who you've know for a few years. You can also safely guess that they will fit in with the family (heck they are family o.O) Parents will get along Cons - you can get 'not so right in the head' children. It's like marrying your own brother / sister. Gross is an understatement.
TheDrifter 24
You must not have pretty cousins. On the plus side, second cousin is safe from the "risk of mutation due to inbreeding" genetic standpoint.
jmacfan1 16
Welcome to my family. I had cousins get married and have kids.
austin101123 3
25, how would you get 'not so right in the head' children from doing that?
kittenvks 11
43- because incest causes abnormalities
PrimeEvilTahir 24
Depends on the level of inbreeding. If it has happened for generations (as in OP's parents were cousins and so were her cousin's parents) then you can get abnormal children. I say this from looking at a lot of cases of cousin marriage in my country (it's quite common here). I'm not saying that you always get abnormal children but the risks are high!
MitChell127 5
51- Were your parents cousins? Because you look pretty abnormal to me.
PrimeEvilTahir 24
No. But mistaking a mask for a face is not a trait of a normal person either... Just saying....
doctorhook86 25
49 - Fun fact: Around the world and throughout history, marrying cousins is pretty common; probably everyone posting here has an ancestor who married a close relative. Basic genetics also tells us that cousins also have a very low chance of birth defects compared to closer relatives. Hell, even Teddy Roosevelt married his cousin. Gross but true!
Ray_of_midnight 23
Actually there have been studies done. The risk of genetic illness for a child of two first cousins is no greater than it is for a child of two random people taken from the general population. Where you start to have problems is in isolated communities where there's lots of inbreeding. The royal houses of Europe were notorious for this, as were certain geographically-isolated communities in the United States. Cousin marriages are legal in most of Europe. In the Western world, it's only in the United States where people get all weird about it. At present, slightly more than half of US states ban marriage between first cousins. The laws against cousin marriages in the United States arose around the turn of the 20th century, when people started to get obsessed by ideas about eugenics and racial purity. Most of those ideas were discredited by subsequent scientific discoveries, changing social attitudes, and the events of the Second World War, but the ban on cousin marriages endures. That said, despite the lack of scientific evidence in favor of a ban, I still think it's icky. And being the object of unwanted affection from anyone who's not quite right in the head, and apparently lacking in social skills, would weird anybody out. Good luck, OP. :-/
thesubconscious 9
Is marrying your second cousin even legal?
kidz 3
In most states i think it is. After, really, first cousins the problems with incest are virtually gone
SystemofaBlink41 27
I really don't see why marrying a close cousin is so bad to people! It's not weird in any way! I mean, you're closer to them than anyone else, you're family, you can be...uhh... I got nothing, it's pretty weird...
jizzwold 21
Unless there is already a history of inbreeding you could have a child with a sibling with an increased chance of abnormalities at about 3-5% which really isn't that high. You can make many points about why it is gross or wrong but the problems with inbreeding take generations to become a serious problem.
nanny1010 12
Sick!!!
iloveturtlez 4
Don't really need to argue... It's just an FML...
aljen90 2
in Hawaii it's allowed because families that has been here for several generations don't go far from each other, and you don't know if who you're marrying could be your very distant relative.
OnlyOnFML 0
You should've turned on your sprinklers.
iLoveYOU63 1
That doesnt happen in Texas dumb ass
missalkali 8
apparently it actually does, dumb ass. it just did
biggestfan23 11
Can't believe stuff like this is legal in some states
MCRaddict15 15
I think 4 was trying to say that it's not very common, [its not in Dallas] but he worded it rudely.
oh_merde 11
It's not legal. Tf?
coffeeandcream 8
sux2bu.
Screwie 25
I feel the love.
TrueTriage 16
Getting close to a Freudian love there
Viciousstorms 7
That's creepier than when Peter Griffin had birds nesting in his beard. But no, OP good luck with handling this situation. Just keep in mind he's "not so right in the head" and hopefully it will pass through. keep an eye on him though.
MGSPOP 1
Cousin marriage is weird as ****. Family reunions are gonna be great. :) Note sarcarsm..
PrimeEvilTahir 24
Actually, family reunions ARE great! Everyone gets along well and there is so much fun and laughter. Believe me, where I come form - cousin marriage is VERY common.
LO388 7
yeah, he probably spits in the soup too.
aleeshttylXD 9
0_o
PrimeEvilTahir 24
Does this qualify as incest? Or is that only with direct blood relative (parent, brother or sis)
mikeofthunder 13
Don't call it a mental hospital you ass, it's called a psychiatric hospital.. It's not just about political correctness, it's about respect
TheEpicMilkMan 13
^ how about mental asylum, does that work for you?
BunchieRules 31
106 - The way I see it, the term "mental" just refers to the mind itself, and doesn't always mean "crazy". To say mental hospital is not calling the patients crazy; it means "hospital for the mind". So it's better than saying "crazy house" or "insane asylum".
Snackycake 20
Psychiatric hospital, mental hospital, insane asylum, nut house, the place were"The nice men in the white coats will show you to your room and give you ice cream", anyway you put it it's about the same place.You got mental problems, they fix them....more or less.
lifesaventure 7
I find nothing wrong with the phrase mental hospital and my best friend was in one. Political correctness has gone WAY overboard in my mind. And insane asylum isn't wrong. People are still "insane" we use the term "criminally insane" all of the time. And asylum is just a word for guarded shelter like orphan asylums are an old word for orphanages.