Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with, "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. The first thing my dad did was comment that given how pretty she looked in our photos, and compared to how she looks in real life, she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML
Today, I told my family that I have a girlfriend, and showed them her Facebook. They immediately started taking bets on when I’d mess it up, when she’d dump me, whether she actually existed, if I’d just made a fake Facebook, or whether she was a pro I hired. I hate my siblings. FML
Today, my girlfriend refused to take a picture with me to prove to my friends that I do indeed have a girlfriend. I got so desperate that I photoshopped myself into one of her Facebook photos instead. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML
Today, I was looking at my friend's dad's Facebook pictures because he recently posted a status update. I saw him at a bar with some ugly hooker that he was feeling up in almost every picture. After about 10 minutes of ridiculing and laughing at this ugly woman, I realize it's my mom in a wig. FML
Today, my dad finally added me on Facebook, When I looked through his photos, I quickly noticed he'd heavily photoshopped the photos I'm in to make me look prettier. FML
Today, I posted a picture of me without makeup on Facebook. A "friend" commented, "fuk me thts hideus!!" My dad replied, "Hideous, yes, just like your godawful spelling!" My mom yelled at my dad for agreeing with the guy, and they're still fighting. Meanwhile, my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML
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Top comments
TheFamilyElf 17
He might just be on to something.
mhopper 13
He's absolutely right!
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Comments (138)
THExistentialist 13
at least the extreme eyeliner + three-quarter angle thing is over for the most part. does she happen to have a mullet/hair extension/skinny Jean/I love boobies bracelet scene going on too? if so.... ******* run.
IneffableLullaby 13
What can I say? Your father's right.
HerrBawl 4
Ahahahahahahaha!
xgetxbentx 13
Dude, it's not a good sign when even your parent notices the duck face right away.
LuckyLynx7732 5
I can't say I'm a fan of the duck face thing, but that doesn't make your dad any less of a douche. Date whoever makes you happy and if your dad doesn't like them thats his problem.
Helenarth 6
Yeah. I don't see why this is so hard to understand.
Anubis_81 21
Yeah he is right. By the way, is it duck season?
omgfmlddb 8
This, may I say is my ex-boyfriend.. Just a hunch -.-
insomniac8400 13
1: duck facing is retarded. 2: I'm pretty sure it's called a profile picture not an avatar 3: in number one I accidentally wrote dick facing at first
Dr_Rambo 5
lolol your dad is a boss
sataris20 5
There is no pleasing this type of person. The only way he would be satisfied is if he chose a mate for you