Anonymous
Seattle, United States
Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
WOWBear
Mesa, United States
Today, a deaf customer came to my work. In an attempt to connect with him I introduced myself in sign language. He just rolled his eyes and pointed at my name tag. FML
Diane
Toronto, Canada
Classic
Today, I pretended to be on the phone to avoid small talk with someone from my building. I spoke loudly into the phone while walking by them. My phone rang in the middle of my fake conversation. FML
human lava lamp
New Britain, United States
Foiled
Today, I was at the airport, when a lady came up and loudly asked if she could sit next to me. I have serious social issues, so to avoid having to talk to her, I pretended I was deaf and couldn't hear her. She immediately broke out her sign language skills. FML
lonelynessinCA
United States
Today, I was so lonely that I pretended I wanted to buy something from a telemarketer so that they would keep talking to me. FML
Jackie
United States
Today, I realized the guy I like is not deaf. This would normally be good news. However, for the past two weeks I assumed he was deaf after seeing him use sign language. I've been openly talking about him within earshot. FML
WTFiswrongwithme
Desperate times, desperate, dumb measures
Today, I was so desperate for human interaction that I asked a deaf girl in my class if she liked music. I actually signed it to her. FML
Kris
India
Not very neighborly
Today, I pretended to be on a work call to avoid talking to my neighbour. Mid-fake call, my phone actually rang. I had to answer it and have two simultaneous conversations while avioding eye contact with my neighbour. FML
Cob
United States
Today, I tried helping an old lady with her groceries. When I asked if she needed help she smiled. When I took one of her bags she yelled. I didn't know she was deaf. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was sitting on the train when some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed, "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML
my back hurts
Campbelltown, Australia
**** off!
Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML
Top comments
adam3650 12
Good God. They're evolving.
yukumariooo 11
Pretended to be deaf, end up looking dumb... Sounds about fair.
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Comments (136)
LMO3825 4
Do what I do when Jahoba witnesses come knockin'... nothing.
FML_Elle 17
Give him the middle finger, I'm sure that's sign language for "f**** you."
Nat52482 25
That's when you write down that you just recently became deaf and don't know sign language yet. Or you could just be normal and tell him you're not interested.
beefstake23 6
How would you hear the door?