Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML
Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML
Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML
Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML
Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to join my friends for a game of paintball. I got shot in the same spot three times in a row. It turned out to be my own team, who mistook me for the enemy because I was wearing… camouflage. FML
Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
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Top comments
bigbadtim 7
Lag time sucks.
skyeyez9 25
That was when you should have fired a paintball at his weiner.
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Comments (162)
tarickman 13
The person you love is going to be better than you at some things and you will be better at some than they are. What's the big deal. My wife completes me. Sounds like your bf needs to grow up.
Obey_StudBoii 23
What an asshole. He has no respect.
missnuthin 10
PLEASE tell me he's your EX now? I dated a man like that for 5 years. Sore loser, selfish, childish, mean-spirited and spiteful. Please don't waste your time on him anymore! :(
sythe511 28
Respond by firing a paintball straight at his dick.
pipc 10
I'd be reevaluating the relationship if he fired one straight into your chest. That's bullshit.
graphicstyle7 17
He's the king of the inmature douchbags. I'd get rid of him if I were you.
simonetaylor94 6
and tht is when u shoot one straight for his dick
rivango_wolf 1
That's ******* hilarious actually haha
Jennidoll 2
your boyfriend is a moron and a dick. get a new one.
yzzami 17
I'd dump paint on him then dump him.