Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML
Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to join my friends for a game of paintball. I got shot in the same spot three times in a row. It turned out to be my own team, who mistook me for the enemy because I was wearing… camouflage. FML
Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML
Today, it was my friend's paintball party and we were doing it in a forest nearby. When I arrived at his house, his parents said they already started, so I geared up and went out there to find that there was a note on a tree. It said 'Sorry', and then twenty people jumped from bushes and ambushed me. FML
Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML
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Top comments
XDsmileyDX_fml 24
Flashbacks from 'Nam. Getcha every time.
mspiggy3712 11
Don't judge a book by its cover
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Comments (105)
XDsmileyDX_fml 24
Flashbacks from 'Nam. Getcha every time.
imyy 20
Dude Israel wasn't involved in Vietnam...
Javier6597 19
Maybe Gramps is from 'Murica and fought in 'Nam
guyfromchess 4
I like pudding
JACKxRAWR 22
"Anyone who runs is VC. Anyone who stays still is disciplined VC!"
kyu_Q 19
about 50% of the citizen in Isreal serve in or do military training. OP should have know bettet so YDI
kyu_Q 19
plus gramps got that old man strength
fucMyLifeSoHard 18
16- You know it's a joke, right? It wasn't meant to be factual.
phoneaddict13 29
Old people and Israel amaze me every single day! מתה על ישראל♥
vampirapaige 11
Well, I guess you won't doubt HIM again.
caohm 18
he doesn't even have to brag when y'all go back home everyone will know how bad you lost when you come in looking like clown mixed with a Picasso painting
Gingerette 8
Seriously. Grandpas do NOT kid around. And if they do, they can still knock you upside down and backwards. OP was stupid for even mentioning the age factor and then not expecting revenge.
mspiggy3712 11
Don't judge a book by its cover
CocaColaPepsi 13
Honestly everyone is saying to not judge a book by its cover, YDI, etc. but look at it from his point of view, he thought (and with most older people its true) that his grandfather would get hurt! He's an old man and sadly older people can't do what they could 30 years ago. if I thought my grandfather would get hurt I wouldn't take the chance.
aimeegoldberg 22
Or a Grandpa by his age
buttcramp 21
is he like my grandpa? with a military background? hahahaha if so, YDI.
nightfire2258 24
Due to the great demand for manpower during WWII and Vietnam, it's uncommon not have a grand parent that served in the armed forces. But since it's Israel and they have a mandatory draft the grandfather is almost certain to have a military background provided he wasn't disqualified for some reason.
zsshamalama 11
he lives in Israel. his grandpa more than likely was in the military because Israel has a draft and its possible that he had to fight in one of Israel's many wars.
blackmac20 1
#65 I'm pretty sure that's what #57 just said.
hare 19
Hahahaha bad grandpa?!?!?
ITS_Arnold 7
I was thinking the same thing!
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Call of Duty: Gho....Grandpas!
purrypie 9
Oh my God xD I just love you right now
unlucky_lucy 17
Don't underestimate the elderly. They are fierce creatures
Zwingend 15
Such fierce creatures, those elderly! I heard they evolved from dragons and eat live goats!
jazzy_123 20
seriously! OP's grandma didn't happen to dress up as bobo the evil clown and scare all the children on Halloween right?
TwistedCherub1 15
Once again, youth was beaten senseless by experience. He's not old, OP. He's just leveled up.
secretagent415 10
Hahahah! That's great, what is he a sniper?
Cartera 10
Yeah. OP's grandpa did 360 ladder stall trick shots while jumping off of buildings in slow-motion.
creepyclowntown 10
he sounds awesome. I would play him anytime
Zwingend 15
Well. I hope you learned a valuable lesson, sonny boy.
ThattDude 8
And badass grandpa of the year goes to...