Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML
Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML
Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML
Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML
Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to join my friends for a game of paintball. I got shot in the same spot three times in a row. It turned out to be my own team, who mistook me for the enemy because I was wearing… camouflage. FML
Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
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Top comments
bigbadtim 7
Lag time sucks.
skyeyez9 25
That was when you should have fired a paintball at his weiner.
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Comments (162)
Sir_Swaggington 6
OP needs a new boyfriend. This dude is psycho.
MrBrightsidexvi 6
His brain is lagging lol the kid can't handle his shit.
journeytotheend 16
See if my gf beat me. I would be damn proud. "Fück yeah, this is my girl" But of course I would win lol
cmac86 24
sure hope you mean your ex.
quincykid23 6
My gf beat me in paintball once. I was damn proud of her :) She also has beaten me in call of duty and halo... And battlefield hah. Still damn proud of her. Ain't nothing wrong with a girl that can beat us guys at our own game
ravenevercross 19
I agree, but...gotta ask, is she just that good or do you just suck that much?
Vinnie500 14
Lol. Maybe you should find a man friend instead of a "boy" friend that can't separate fantasy from reality.
YoshiPL 8
And you are still with him? Shame on you
Maycontainnuts 17
Getting shot close range in the chest really hurts... OP's boyfriend sounds like a douche. And really guys? How are we ever meant to have equal genders if women can't beat men at things without men getting offended.
JohnyLoca 8
You totally deserved it for picking a boyfriend like that. The signs are usually obvious so you should have known better and not complain now...
graphicstyle7 17
Not complain now? Er, that's not a husband, that's a boyfriend. That's WHEN you complain, before you have a life-long contract with him. If boyfriend is a jerk, he can be easily (or even no too easily, some jackasses take a while to get a clue) dumped. No harm, no foul.
xRezSynn 15
Douche. I hate sore losers, sorry OP.