yeyt209
Bismarck, United States
Today, I passed out in my car in a McDonald's parking lot. I got woken up by a cop. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
It's alive!
Today, I decided I'd take a nap in my car because I got to work very early. As I was waking up from my nap, I saw a cop looking right at me. Turns out, a lady who'd parked her car right next to mine after I was asleep had called the cops on me because she thought I was dead. FML
Anonymous
United States
What a wonderful life
Today, I felt really depressed so I decided to go to McDonald's, get a sundae and cheer myself up. I got pulled over by the cops on the way, and was given a ticket for an expired registration. McDonald's was closed. FML
pantless
Sydney, Australia
Today, I went to a McDonald's drive-thru in just a shirt and underwear, thinking I wouldn't be seeing anyone. I got into a car crash. FML
Anonymous
Not lovin' it.
Today, a kid pulled down my shorts while I was ordering at McDonald's. In my haste to pull them back up, I hit my head on the counter and was knocked out cold. I woke up on the floor, my shorts still around my knees, in a puddle of my own urine. I had peed myself while unconscious. FML
FUCKKKS
United States
Today, after a long work shift, I was so tired that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep. When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and was about to die. I only realized it was stationary after I pissed myself. FML
whyme
United States
Hit and run
Today, my friend and I were eating in my car in a McDonald's parking lot, when an angry, drunk man stumbled out of the restaurant and into his car. He then hit the McDonald's wall, turned around and sped straight into my car. I only bought it a week ago. FML
stardustveins
San Francisco, United States
Today, I was waiting in the McDonald's drive-thru and listening to some music. I was tapping my non-driving foot to the song when I accidentally tapped the wrong foot and rear ended the cop car in front of me. Whoops. FML
idiot
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
United States
Wake up
Today, I was sitting in my car waiting my shift to start. I must've fallen asleep because I woke up to a call from my boss firing me. I was in the parking lot. FML
mazey93
Newport, United Kingdom
Today, I passed out on the way to work. Some lucky passerby took this as an opportunity to help themself to my purse. FML
Anonymous
United States
Wakey wakey
Today, I took a quick nap in my car during my lunch break. I'd set an alarm but forgot to turn my car off, having switched the AC on due to the blistering heat. The cool air lulled me to sleep. When I woke up, my boss was knocking on my window. Apparently, I'd knocked the car into neutral and it had rolled into his parking spot. FML
Top comments
loserman67 36
Well, that's what you get for either: A: Being drunk or B: Eating that crap. Could have been worse, you could have been woken up by a clown.
allard 14
Did he buy you a McWakeTheFuckUp?
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Comments (91)
Ray_of_midnight 23
I can't imagine OP was drunk, else the cop would've arrested him for DUI. The days of cops telling you "drive home real carefully, then sleep it off, and I don't want to see you back on the road today" were over 30 years ago. Probably just succumbed to overwork and lack of sleep.
filipino6561 2
In Woodward??
sup_life 0
Best time to rape her and she won't even remember hahahaha..
mattorama 15
Don't ask, he's posted the same stupid thing in multiple FMLs.
silent_bride 5
36: What the HELL is this comment. FML, please ban this person already. Anonymously making rape "jokes" says to me that they wouldn't think twice about doing it for real if the opportunity presented itself. Please, please, make this site safe for the rest of us.
miked80 2
If he found u at Dunkin doughnuts with a doughnut on u he would take it
ICastillo 25
Op are you so obese you got tired from walking from the parking lot to inside and back ? Because McDonalds will do that to you
OfficeNinja 5
Dispatch, I have a 42-186 in progress. Big Mac Attack overdose. Better send backup and fire rescue.
vintage3113 6
Happened to me at buffalo wild wings. Hope you didn't get in too much trouble :/
afropuffjake 9
Had you said in the drive-thu I would have said YDI I work at one and get really annoyed at people not only drinking and driving but going to get something to eat in the meantime, with their families in the car. At least you had the decent sense to pull over XD
takeitandrun 13
As long as you weren't drunk t's no big deal, he was just checking on you and at worst he probably told you to move along. Once while driving home from vacation in New Mexico I realized I was too tired to make it home safely so I pulled well off the road and fell asleep. I got woken up by an officer from the state police and he just made sure I was okay/not drunk and told me I was fine to sleep there until I was rested enough to continue driving. The police would much rather you sleep in a safe area then have to clean up a crash caused by someone falling asleep at the wheel.
sammyluvspugs 4
Well okay then.. I'm not gonna judge cuz I have no idea what happened.