Today, I overheard my wife telling my mother-in-law I was diagnosed with a learning disability earlier this week. She replied, "I always knew he was a retard. Why did you ever marry that idiot?" All my wife did was mutter "I don't know." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife was snoring in my ear. I nudged her, and she rolled over and started talking in her sleep. I listened, because it was funny, until I heard, quite clearly, "My husband is a dumbass, he's got no idea." No idea of what, exactly? FML
Today, my mom got pissed off at my doctor and called him a quack. She did this because he reassured her that I don't show any signs of the mental retardation that she's convinced herself I must have. FML
Today, I discovered the terrible things my parents say about my wife while visiting them. They speak in Arabic around us and I've never really been able to understand them. Guess who hasn't only brushed up on his Arabic, but spent the last 6 months teaching his wife… FML
Today, I overheard my in-laws talking about me. It started off with light insults and ended with, "People like her are the reason murder ain't always wrong". FML
Today, I was trying to make a good impression with my fiancé's friends. After a few hours, I thought all was going well. As I walked to the washroom, I heard, "So what disability does she have? No one can be like that without something wrong in their brain." FML
Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML
Today, my wife, in all seriousness, told me she believed I am autistic. With all due respect to autistic people out there, WTF? FML
Today, my son has complex special needs, but apparently some of my deliberately ignorant relatives put no effort into learning more about his issues, and just call him "the retarded one" when they think I can’t hear them. FML
Today, I witnessed my husband swat a coffee bean over and over again, all the while mistaking it for a fly. I then figured he probably has a lower IQ than I do, which wouldn't be so bad if mine wasn't a few points away from minor retardation. FML
Today, my fiancé's mother came up to me and told me she loves that I stuck with my soon-to-be husband despite his history and condition. I have no idea what she's talking about, and she refuses to tell me. FML
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Top comments
lexiieeex3 32
That's not right, your wife should've stuck up for you. Just because you have a learning disability doesn't mean you're a lesser person or a lesser husband. It just means your brain is wired a little different and that's okay.
russfml 31
It sounds like your wife and mother in law should be diagnosed with a mental bitch ability. FYL OP
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Comments (70)
cocothemonster 4
Sucks to suck
Destinee_1 13
I'm sorry OP, that really sucks! You are a great person and shouldn't be treated like that.
firecracker5 11
That's ****** up
PizzaElHutt 7
**** THAT BITCH.
Abhinow 7
clearly the real mental disability is with ur m.in.law. take ur wife away from her.
Goblin182 27
If I were you I would jump in my vehicle, point it south, rip off the rear view mirror and chase the headlights until I saw sand and smelled ocean.
worldclassrager 41
I'd assume she didn't have a reply for her mothers response...so she just gave a reply perhaps one that her mother would like
MidnaLink 35
Wow. Never mind wifey, momma's a big bitch!
Dexter83_fml 17
Leave her mate it's obvious she has no respect for you. Leave her before she hurts you
david99021 15
can i get a "C" can i get a "U" can i get an "N" can i get a "T" what does that spell? **** yaaaayyy yea but seriously shes a bitch....