Today, I overheard my in-laws talking about me. It started off with light insults and ended with, "People like her are the reason murder ain't always wrong". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard my girlfriend telling her friend, "Actually, it's a good thing she died, she was quite a bitch." She was talking about my mother. FML
Today, I visited my in-laws, whom I thought I was on great terms with. I soon learned that wasn't the case when my mother-in-law yelled at me about how I've been abusing her for years. Ten minutes later, she hugged me and asked me for grandkids. FML
Today, I overheard my mother-in-law and sister-in-law over the baby monitor. They were talking about how much better off my daughter would be if I were to die. FML
Today, I went downstairs to get a drink and overheard my grandparents talking about me. They spent a good 15 minutes double-team attacking me for my failings as a human being, mainly me not being married with children yet. I'm barely 20. FML
Today, I overheard my parents talking about my husband. Apparently, they think he's a nice guy and all, but they don't really see him as "husband material." They think I would have been better off with my ex, who doesn't have a job and hurt me both physically and mentally. FML
Today, I was trying to explain to my mother-in-law how I hated the way my father-in-law talks to me, the tone he uses. She thought I was attacking him and got mad at me. FML
Today, my mother-in-law confessed that for the longest time, she had fantasies about killing me for "ruining" her daughter's life, basically because I'm not wealthy enough for my mother-in-law's standards. She made sure to let me know the situation hasn't changed at all. FML
Today, my brother-in-law's wife sent me a text venting about her argument with our mother-in-law. She also said said some nasty things about her and I mistakenly shared this info with my “trusted” husband, who immediately told his hot-tempered-momma's girl-IDGAF attitude older sister, who now plans on beating her ass. This is bad. FML
Today, at work, I overheard two of my coworkers talking about how "creepy" and "ugly" I am, and that I look like I'd be the kind of guy to sneak into someone's house and "have my way" with them. Boy, did that sure help with my self-esteem issues. I'm going to go and report them, but still. FML
Today, my awful future daughter-in-law went off on me and said that I'm just jealous that she's marrying my son and I'm not. Furious, I told my husband, expecting him to side with me, but all he said was, "Well… are you?" FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
They seem to be giving you the go-ahead, OP. Using the method of your choice (I'd opt for battle axe), exact your revenge for their slanderous chatter!
julianbozikovic 20
What a bunch of assholes! Sorry OP :/
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Comments (72)
tehman117 21
Well, at least you're literate and they're not.
jake_braves 25
If I heard my my family talking about my future wife like that I will go ham on their asses and we would leave.
awildwhisper 30
please don't diss dialects
Seabass_Chan 33
Does "Jackass" count as a dialect?
julianbozikovic 20
What a bunch of assholes! Sorry OP :/
ghostriley 14
You must be an asshole if they think their justified to murder you
chrisbeaudoin 26
Or they just hate her/him
ligerzero459 24
You're getting downvoted, but usually there's a reason that people say something like that
Tripartita 45
They seem to be giving you the go-ahead, OP. Using the method of your choice (I'd opt for battle axe), exact your revenge for their slanderous chatter!
Metalslipp 15
The perfect demise in my book would be: sneak up on them and shoot their feet with arrows. Approach with the conversation as topic, and watch them beg for mercy as you draw back another arrow for the death blow.
Misswildsides 22
#14, remind me to stay away from you
Dramori 29
Nah, superglue their scalp to the road and approach real slow with a steamroller.
lizisanaddict 17
#20, I like you.
SecundusSecunda 27
You mentioning the use of a battleaxe reminds me of the line from Skyrim "I'll end your miserable life!"
Lalala579121 28
29, It makes me think of Lizzie Borden.
Zelphoric 25
29, or Oblivion: "This is the part where you fall down and bleed to death!"
christian1509 21
What made them have this opinion of you???
nix1993 41
Probably the fact that she married their precious baby boy. Some people just don't know when to cut the apron strings. Before I was born but when my sister was about two my mum (who been with my dad since she was 15) had a couple of miscarriages, and my bitch of a Grandmother who was a nurse at the time actually suggested at the dinner table that my mum should go and get tested for chlamydia.
nix1993 41
Probably the simple fact that she married their precious baby boy, some people really just don't know when to cut the apron strings. When my older sister was a toddler my mum had a couple of miscarriages, so my mum spoke to my Gran because she was a nurse. She said nothing to my mum when she asked her, but later suggested at the dinner table in front of the whole family that my mum should go and be tested for chlamydia.
xTommytheGUNx 15
i agree #6. maybe OP is a bitch?
lat187 18
What?!?? Seriously, what??? You need to figure out a way to tell them you overheard their convo. And see what they have to say.
americanafrican 32
how about just talking to their faces? that usually works well
yellowzinnias 20
No, she needs to tell her spouse. This is her spouse's family, and it's the spouse's duty to put them in their place and stand up for the one s/he loves.
iwin8166 13
No. While he does need to have her back, she should be able to speak up for herself. Now he's got to go back and fight a battle hale has no first hand knowledge of while she could have confronted them in the moment where they couldn't deny it, and the her husband would have solid ground to defend her from.
nix1993 41
I don't think so, I think if she had confronted them they would have gone straight on the defensive, it would have turned into a fight that she would be the instigator of, making her at least partially to blame and so giving them at least some justification for disliking her, and it could well damage her husbands relationship with his family. If her husband defends her and speaks to them properly about their attitude and the things they've said they still probably wouldn't take it well but it's less likely to cause as much friction and they would have to be more polite in the future.
yellowzinnias 20
What #36 said. #26, you are obviously young. I am in my 30s, and I also studied relationship communication in college, and I assure you, the way I explained it is the way things happen within healthy marriages.
LivToFail 28
Im sorry that your inlaws are such assholes. It astounds me how some parents cant appreciate their childs decision to marry another. Im sure you and your significant other are happy together, who cares what they think, be happy together.
edward80 18
Don't worry OP , they are supposed to hate you !
XxDanno316xX 27
I don't want to live where you live, when people are supposed to hate each other.
Lalala579121 28
Not all tropes and stereotypes are good things, or even should exist to begin with. Especially when people want to murder you.
maryoo7 11
woah your in-laws are not nice at all. don't let them get to you and it'll be okay
countryb_cth 38
Suuure it'll be fine... all they're planning to do is murder you. It's all just peachy.
snackerattacker 11
That escalated quickly!
XxDanno316xX 27
Ugh, people overuse puns and meme's to fish for likes. Please stop. Be original mate.