Today, I discovered the terrible things my parents say about my wife while visiting them. They speak in Arabic around us and I've never really been able to understand them. Guess who hasn't only brushed up on his Arabic, but spent the last 6 months teaching his wife… FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I overheard my wife telling my mother-in-law I was diagnosed with a learning disability earlier this week. She replied, "I always knew he was a retard. Why did you ever marry that idiot?" All my wife did was mutter "I don't know." FML
Today, I was over my grandparents' house for my grandfather's birthday. For years they would talk to each other in Italian and I could never understand them, so I started to take an online class to teach myself Italian. Now I know all they talk about is how much they hate everything about me. FML
Today, I had to take my life into my hands and tell my wife that when she was yelling at me earlier, she was yelling at me in her own language, which I’m still not fluent in, so whatever it was that upset her, I still haven’t fixed it because I didn’t understand the instructions. FML
Today, I introduced my mother to my new girlfriend. My mom made a very nasty comment about her in Spanish, not realizing that my girlfriend teaches Spanish at the local school. FML
Today, my son brought home his Muslim girlfriend and I had to watch my husband almost physically restraining himself from making a racist comment, especially since she was wearing a headscarf. No, I was not aware he was this much of a racist when I married him. FML
Today, I found out that my parents don't know the difference between a foreign person and a deaf person. They've been yelling at our exchange student for the past 2 days. FML
Today, I found out that all the everyday Spanish words and phrases my boyfriend has been teaching me have very vulgar meanings. I found this out after I said a few to our waitress. FML
Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, all because he heard me speaking Arabic. I was on the phone with my grandmother in Egypt. FML
Today, I visited my in-laws, whom I thought I was on great terms with. I soon learned that wasn't the case when my mother-in-law yelled at me about how I've been abusing her for years. Ten minutes later, she hugged me and asked me for grandkids. FML
Today, I finished the rather expensive Arabic language course I have been taking for about 6 months. I still can't hold a conversation, but I can now say, "May Allah give you a headache and you are stuck in Beirut's traffic for two hours." FML
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Top comments
manb91uk 22
I wouldn’t let on for as long as possible - dig up some pure grade A dirt that will guarantee a huge win come inheritance time 👍🏻
lukesick1 12
You see this is the moment where I would've said oh yeah in the language to shock them.
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Comments (20)
lukesick1 12
You see this is the moment where I would've said oh yeah in the language to shock them.
manb91uk 22
I wouldn’t let on for as long as possible - dig up some pure grade A dirt that will guarantee a huge win come inheritance time 👍🏻
MidnaLink 35
!اللعنة لك That means “**** you”, and that should be your response next time they say something horrible.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
So, why do they speak in Arabic around you? If it's their native language, how do you not understand them? I'm confused. Still, that sucks for both you and your wife.
MidnaLink 35
Put it this way; I’m Croatian simply by blood alone. I don’t speak it, never learnt it.
RichardPencil 32
Sometimes immigrants insist their children concentrate on excelling in English and not learning their mother tongue. It has the added bonus that the parents could have a secret language to hide things from their kids.
raven_of_azarath 35
It’s also possible to forget a language if you don’t use it daily.
Suaria 38
My mom's parents and brother are from Germany, and she grew up speaking German with her family. She never taught her kids German. So when my grandma and my uncle come over, they always speak German to each other but none of us understand them.
RichardPencil 32
On the plus side, you and your wife now have a secret language to use around the infidels to say horrible things about them.
Stealthninjaa 19
But what exactly did they say though?
Yudith 28
Just learn yet another language, so you and your wife can talk shit about your parents in their presence without them noticing. Not French, as they might be able to understand it.
Chris_1163187222 15
This has more holes than swiss cheese
PhoenixChick 26
First sign they were talking shit about you guys is purposely switching to a language neither of you spoke.
dwight7476 11
Your parents have issues if they don’t like her it doesn’t matter as along as she keeps you happy that’s all that matters she married you not your family