Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML
Today, my 16-year-old cousin told me she was "late." When I asked if she could be pregnant, she said no, because, "You can't get pregnant the first time you have sex." I ended up having to give her the sex talk. FML
Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML
Today, I found out that my daughter not only has a boyfriend, but that they're trying for a baby. She's barely 15. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, despite spending literal years educating my son about safe sex and warning him not to do something stupid like get a girl pregnant at 16, he actually surpassed my expectations. He got her pregnant at 17. Plus she gave him a nasty STD. FML
Today, not only did I find out that my 13 year-old daughter is pregnant, I found out that she did it on purpose "to prove that she’s responsible." FML
Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML
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Top comments
glimmer980 20
I think you need to have the birds and the bees talk before she does end up pregnant
ComoEsJuan 24
The birds and the pees. Wait...
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Comments (183)
jeanyrios 10
That's how poorly your parenting skills are so it is time to sit her down and explain EVERYTHING to her so she can get out of the dark dungeon of ignorance
DocDrose 20
at least you don't have to worry about teen pregnancy?
OscarEcho 12
#147: Umm... I think that's EXACTLY what OP has to worry about.
blackonblight 33
You know, when I was growing up I got two books, "where did I come from?" And "what's happening to me?" That covered most of the basics far better than health class sex Ed, which basically was just a bunch of 'look at this STD, don't have sex or you'll get it!' stuff. Of course it turned out I'm ace and don't have to worry about much of that nonsense, but I got information, damnit.
blackonblight 33
By which I mean, find those books, they're not bad.
CaptainPicard 3
Who was her Sex-Ed teacher in school; R Kelly?
Fou_Lou 20
Not knowing how you get pregnant is the easiest way to get pregnant because you dont know how to use contraception. They just dont pee on each other but have sex. And then she wonders how she got pregnant. Sorry YDI for the parent. Its your responsibility to educate your child on Sexuality and everything it bring with. At least talk about that when the child brings home a boy/girlfriend how important contraception is. -.- And how the different methods are used in the right way... Just Preaching absence is the second best way to get children pregnant.
mdavis0529 14
Seriously? She's 16 and you still haven't had "The Talk" with her? What kind of a parent are you? It's no wonder so many kids are uninformed! I have 3 daughters, and had the talk with each of them when they turned 11.
NotARealThing 4
"And that's when I realized...it was too late for an abortion." j/k - you should talk to her about this before you become a grandmother.
ShenaniganNinja 20
Since you apparently haven't educated your child properly, YDI.
mjdjoy 5
Sounds like you failed to teach her.
savemeSheehan 8
have you had the talk yet?