Today, my best friend, who reckons I'm doing a terrible job at finding a boyfriend, has started giving out my number to all the men she thinks "look trustworthy" in the subway. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend posted my phone number all over the Internet, claiming I was a deranged stalker who prank called her. I was calling from my new number to give it to her. FML
Today, my best friend texted me saying she is determined to find out what skank her brother is sneaking around with. I've been secretly dating her brother for months; apparently I'm the skank. FML
Today, I got talking to a pretty girl on the subway. Just as she was about to get off, I handed her my phone so that she could give me her number. She ran out with it. FML
Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. I have been getting explicit texts and phone calls so I just joking said to my friend, "I think someone wrote my number on a bathroom stall." At which point he said, "Sorry, I didn't think people really called those numbers." FML
Today, I was warned by a friend that unless I make more effort with my boyfriend, he'll be snapped up by someone else, and proved it by showing me text screenshots of at least three women I know who are all hoping to pounce on him when I eventually fuck it up so badly he dumps me. FML
Today, my friend told me that she gave my number to a guy I've liked for a while. I asked why and she just said "He's just going to have to tell you himself." I got hopeful and really nervous. A few hours later he calls. Turns out, he's called to try and get a date with my gay friend. FML
Today, I went to a bar with some buddies, and after trying to pick up a few girls, one of my friends got a number. When I heard the number, I said, "Sorry man, that's definitely the rejection hotline number." So many girls have given me that number, I've memorized it. FML
Today, I realised that somewhere out there someone has written my phone number on a pub bathroom wall, because now every couple of days or weeks I get random calls from heavy breathing pervs, or from guys wanting to know if I’m available, and how much I charge. FML
Today, I asked a cute guy for his number but instead he gave it to my gay friend. When my friend later called him, it turned out that he'd given him his number just to get rid of me and wasn't expecting him to call. FML
Today, my best friend jokingly blocked my number until I apply for a job. She is also supposed to be picking me up from the airport, so now I have no way to contact her to tell her what time. FML
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Top comments
conp789 12
this could really be a trainwreck
allykaymorris 24
My number was once written in a bathroom stall at a rest stop by a friend... I pity you. I know your pain.
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Comments (40)
conp789 12
this could really be a trainwreck
ZombieSlaya115 17
At least they're kind of watching out for you OP.
Pandaling 12
no...no she's not...
DoomedGemini 38
Kinda opposite of watching out for her.. Giving her number to men she doesn't know at all seems kinda bad at making sure she's ok/safe
annoyedperson 25
Does she find the guys in tux or the homeless men
NYGiants1925 22
Nothing can go wrong there.
Lalala579121 28
Yeah anybody who eats at Subway can't be trusted. Just look at Jared.
deathshead 19
Okay... if you didn't get it to begin with I don't think you have the capacity to figure it out even with all the down votes... #5 was making a pun about the restaurant, but OP's friend was giving her number out at a genuine subway... like the kind you use to move around a city...
Lalala579121 28
No shit. I was making a joke too...
NotchaHue 8
That sucks OP, best of luck
Tripartita 45
For those of you playing FML bingo at home, you can mark "That sucks, OP." We're still waiting for: "I hope you mean EX friend." "You should sue." "That's a shitty situation." "You need to talk to him/her."
cootiequeen4444 11
what if OP'S name is Sue? And she really should... something. Does that count or would that be cheating?
everythingelena 28
Time to get a new number possibly if unknown numbers start hitting you up. You might wanna have a convo with your friend and let them know that you want to meet a guy on your own terms Good Luck OP
allykaymorris 24
My number was once written in a bathroom stall at a rest stop by a friend... I pity you. I know your pain.
JMichael 26
Doesn't seem like a goos friend if they'd lut you through that..then again I bet my roommate would do something like to me.
allykaymorris 24
Sometimes friends do stupid... But you gotta love them anyways (:
JMichael 26
Nah I just spend weeks plotting my revenge.
deathshead 19
weeks? slacker, a good revenge plot takes years of planning and decades of execution leaving them completely distraught, distroyed in body, mind, and soul with nothing left.
anlong93 9
Jenny?
whatoftoday 6
Wait... is your number 867-5309? I've got your number.
SubparAtBest 23
I once spent the entire day posting a friends skype info on **** sites... I know it's evil but it's goddamm hilarious when they get all those messages.
species4872 20
Let him find you.
tygerarmy 35
Tell your friend to immediately stop, or you'll start giving out her number/posting it on Craigslist. Also make any Social media or profiles with your number private for the near future, if you don't keep them that way normally.