Today, I overheard my dad telling his friends that the only way I'll ever sleep with a woman is with the help of Rohypnol. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML
Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML
Today, I overheard my dad telling my mum that the only way I'm ever going to get into a relationship is if I "pose as a woman and con some gullible bastard online." He's probably right. FML
Today, I'm on new medication that has a side effect of keeping me awake all night. Now I get to listen to my parents having sex at 2am when they think I'm fast asleep. FYI, my dad likes being spanked and being told that he's a really bad boy who needs punishment. FML
Today, my dad heard that the guy who bullied me at school died recently of a drug overdose. For some reason, he thinks we were actually best friends, and thinks I'm doing drugs too. I'm now not allowed out of the house except to go to school. He won't listen to a word I say. FML
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML
Today, I found out my dad stole money from me when he was arrested for buying Oxycodone from an undercover cop. FML
Today, I advised my daughter to not drink a Coke before bed. She smiled at me and reassured me that it could be balanced out with sleeping pills. I'm raising a future drug addict. FML
Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML
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Top comments
BigLatchZatch 14
That's just ******* mean.
pandalover69 26
I'll sleep with you if it'll keep that from happening.
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Comments (55)
BigLatchZatch 14
That's just ******* mean.
MeanBeagle 22
"*******" mean
imsoeffingbored 13
what is rohypnol
joselgarciac 9
taste this drink and find out...
garrett_8614 14
Perfect picture & comment combination #1
SailorSolaris 43
Rohypnol is commonly referred to as a date rape drug. Basically, the victim remembers nothing of what happened, #33.
pandalover69 26
I'll sleep with you if it'll keep that from happening.
thesmeagol 22
I don't know if he'll want to sleep with somone known for "loving" pandas. ;)
Zebediabolical 45
I'll sleep with you if it means I can have some Rohypnol!
noobienick 19
Says the rapist
orbit 22
**** you #11, ******* panda hater...
joselgarciac 9
"does this rag smell like chloroform?"-OP's dad imitating op
Mynamewontfi 40
At least he didn't say that even rohypnol won't help to get you laid. Always look on the bright side. Just kidding, he's an ass for saying that.
whatsittoyabitch 15
What an ass, Prove him wrong !
dustydick 14
or right. .. jk
MeanBeagle 22
ask him if his first remembers what it taste like
SideOfTheAngels 23
That's really mean! Try and ignore him though, he's probably trying to sound "cool" for his friends.
miianah1 22
Damn it, I have to go google what rohypnol is. Hopefully I'll make it back before the edit timer closes :P Okay, back. 77 sec left. It's the date rape drug, a drug for insomnia, and/or drug used before surgery. I don't know. Anyway, tell your dad to **** off. Hm, I guess I didn't really need to know what it meant to leave my comment. Oh well, one more word added to my vocabulary.
miianah1 22
For those of you who are like "why didn't you google it before leaving a comment" I wanted to leave the comment before the first page is full.
shay_serendipity 29
There were none of us saying that. You just replied to yourself. Okay.
feven 32
You could've just commented after you googled it.
ShadowOpsV4 13
I guess you could have read his follow up comment before you commented #25 and you would have learned why he didn't google it first.
feven 32
^ She must have edited afterwards cause I know I'm not that much of an idiot... I hope lol
KittyHawkMarch 29
I actually did a school project, a brochure, on this very drug a few years ago. It's sad that drugs such as this are used to take advantage of women.
Liamj774 36
That sucks OP. You'll find someone eventually, I hope
granCanyon 12
That's not necessarily true. I've read that ~5% of all people die virgin. Even if you don't count all those who choose not to have sex for some(religion etc) reasons and those who died too young to have sex there's still a lot of people who'll never be in a sexual relationship. It's millions of people.
TJRou09 10
scarier than the hand on the mirror post
MiaTheMartian 21
Please don't ever use that, I'm sure you'll find someone who will consent
devildog562 33
Let me tell you about a girl I know, had a drink about a hour ago. Sitting in a corner by herself, in a bar in downtown Hell.