Today, I opened my personal laptop at a company meeting. I forgot that the battery died while watching a porno last night. It was ten seconds of slurping, spitting and gagging. It was my first day. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I set up an office laptop remotely from home. My own laptop screen sat next to that laptop screen. I wanted to wank so opened some porn on my own screen. Then my boss called and said, "There's smut playing on this laptop." Wrong screen, and my work PC was in console mode, so people had gathered to watch. FML
Today, I was just taking a wank with my laptop on low battery. Almost finished when my laptop died. FML
Today, I was giving a presentation at work but accidentally spilled water all over my laptop. I tried to dry it off, but it wouldn't turn on. I had to give the presentation awkwardly using my phone and everyone took the piss out of me and my shoddy performance. FML
Today, I was sick, and decided to work from home. After coding for a few hours, I took a break, and being home alone, I watched porn. A few minutes later, I received messages from my colleagues telling me to shut it down. I had forgotten I was working on teamviewer. FML
Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML
Today, I woke up after a heavy night of drinking, with my laptop dead on my chest. Apparently, I had attempted a bit of digital penile oscillation, but passed out instead. FML
Today, it was my first day of work at a very high end company. While delivering coffee to my boss, I set it down on the edge of a magazine, where it spilled over, into his crotch. FML
Today, I attended a virtual meeting. When I went to grab a coffee during a break, for some reason took my laptop with me, got distracted by my cat taking a stinky dump, so my coworkers got an unplanned tour of his litter box while I scooped it all up. FML
Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML
Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML
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Top comments
sonicmega 3
Well, that sucks. And blows. And swallows.
XaosZaleski 0
So...instead of plugging in your laptop last night, you decided to polish your knob off and head to bed? If you knew you needed your laptop for work, you should probably charge it the night before. ****. I hope stupidity isn't contagious.
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Comments (70)
Dramamine 0
WAWAH, OMG, YOU WATCHED ****. SHAME SHAME. ******* hell, it's not a big deal. Just check next time.
Brandon25 0
FAAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKEEE you would remember somthing like that before opening it, nice fake tho ;)
BradyT918 9
^dumbass
idontloveyou_86 0
you should not watch **** at all. the internet should not accept ****, and pornstars shouldn't make it in the first place. everyone should wear clothes at all times, even wearing a wetsuit in the bath. and not SKIMPY clothes. pants/skirt down to the knees at least, shirt that covers back, shoulders and frontal. must come down to where the pants start. no, i'm not being sarcastic.
owlowl 0
seriously?
Chocolate_Chunk 2
Either you ARE being sarcastic/trolling, or that's another case of poes law
fthku 13
He's being sarcastic by saying he's not being sarcastic.
SneakyMuffin 0
Fake birthdate, I'd say you're an 11 year old who thinks girls are "icky".
Ririshi 0
Extreme Muslim OR Totally Retarded.
emilialoriana_fml 0
and ooohs , aahhhs and oohh yeaaahs . FAILED ! YDI . lol
mpen 0
totally fake. the laptop would have booted from scratch if the battery had completely died
Chocolate_Chunk 2
You know nothing about computers, do you? the computer automagically goes to sleep mode as soon as the battery is critical. That means that all the content in the ram is written to the hard disk and the pc shuts down. next time you boot, the ram is filled with the contents on the drive again and starts exactly where you left off. You could basically go to sleep mode in the middle of a game and be right where you left it when you start the pc again. That's the standard setting in laptops of pretty much all manufacturers since at least 10 years.
slivermaster 0
@32 actually on a mac once your computer dies, it still has some battery left so if you charge it it resumes to its previous state. so this FML is possible, well the computer part but the idiot part?
Senken_ 0
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh man that sucks
sleephunters 8
I hope the slurping, spitting, and gagging all happened in the video and with your boss.
Geicogecko 2
take out the battery Sherlock!!! YDI for watching **** and for being a dumbass and not taking out the battery!!
Chocolate_Chunk 2
because taking the battery out is faster than just hitting the mute button
PYLrulz 17
YDI. At least close the porno out when you are charging your laptop back up