Today, I opened my personal laptop at a company meeting. I forgot that the battery died while watching a porno last night. It was ten seconds of slurping, spitting and gagging. It was my first day. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I set up an office laptop remotely from home. My own laptop screen sat next to that laptop screen. I wanted to wank so opened some porn on my own screen. Then my boss called and said, "There's smut playing on this laptop." Wrong screen, and my work PC was in console mode, so people had gathered to watch. FML
Today, I was just taking a wank with my laptop on low battery. Almost finished when my laptop died. FML
Today, I was giving a presentation at work but accidentally spilled water all over my laptop. I tried to dry it off, but it wouldn't turn on. I had to give the presentation awkwardly using my phone and everyone took the piss out of me and my shoddy performance. FML
Today, I was sick, and decided to work from home. After coding for a few hours, I took a break, and being home alone, I watched porn. A few minutes later, I received messages from my colleagues telling me to shut it down. I had forgotten I was working on teamviewer. FML
Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML
Today, I woke up after a heavy night of drinking, with my laptop dead on my chest. Apparently, I had attempted a bit of digital penile oscillation, but passed out instead. FML
Today, it was my first day of work at a very high end company. While delivering coffee to my boss, I set it down on the edge of a magazine, where it spilled over, into his crotch. FML
Today, I attended a virtual meeting. When I went to grab a coffee during a break, for some reason took my laptop with me, got distracted by my cat taking a stinky dump, so my coworkers got an unplanned tour of his litter box while I scooped it all up. FML
Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML
Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML
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Top comments
sonicmega 3
Well, that sucks. And blows. And swallows.
XaosZaleski 0
So...instead of plugging in your laptop last night, you decided to polish your knob off and head to bed? If you knew you needed your laptop for work, you should probably charge it the night before. ****. I hope stupidity isn't contagious.
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Comments (70)
thatdood13 1
swallow or its going in your eye!
Lizzi_fml 10
Was it also your last day?
fthku 13
By slurping, spitting and gagging, are you talking about yourself?
julian24245 0
Way to break the ice
tsizzleisback 3
Haha that's ******* hilarious
pugslove14 2
What they do???
Spyingcheeseman 8
Any time a computer, or laptop to be exact, turns off or dies... it should close all the Windows... right??
Door_Productions 19
You don't charge your laptop when it does until it's needed?
Berber260 14
So you got a raise... Last night if you know every I mean.
Noela Abney 5
some of these comments, you guys are retarded to think girls do that shit on the reg. If girls do it, its to accommodate your dumb not realistic porno fantasies. I hope you guys have actual HOT sex one day so you can tell the difference you little virgins