Today, while driving to work, I really took in the scenery. Not for the beauty, but for the practicality and access for the best place to commit suicide. I disregarded one place because it would be too hard to wash away the blood. At least when I'm suicidal, I'm thoughtful about it… FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried thinking of the best way to kill myself without leaving my body intact enough for people to continue to judge. FML
Today, my fiancée and I showed my mother-in-law a picture of the location at which we'll be holding our wedding reception. It's a beautiful waterfront building overlooking the ocean. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Looks like a good place to commit suicide." FML
Today, in a state of severe depression and fearing I might do the worst, I called my local suicide helpline. I was put on hold. FML
Today, my mom told me that if I wanted to commit suicide, I should make it seem like a car accident, and not do it in the house, because she would be too embarrassed if people thought she was a bad parent. FML
Today, whilst driving, I had the sudden urge to vomit. As I pulled over I wound my window down, stuck my head out, and emptied my stomach. At least I would have if I had wound down the driver's window instead of the back window. FML
Today, I actually thought of faking my own death to get away from my girlfriend and her insane, overbearing family. FML
Today, I was so totally stressed out at work that I took my car into the park and reclined my seat and shut my eyes. Soon, I noticed the soothing sounds of raindrops on my car and I felt a little better for once. I opened my eyes to see that a bunch of birds had crapped all over my car. FML
Today, I seriously considered stepping in front of a car so that I could miss a few days of work. FML
Today, as I was driving home from work, a bird decided to commit suicide by flying in front of my car. The shock caused me to slam on the brakes, totaling three other cars in the process. FML
Today, I was so disgusted by my own body, I took a shower in the dark so I wouldn't have to look at myself. FML
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Top comments
IHaveThePower 18
Letting your doctor know about this would be a good idea.
RichardPencil 32
Clearly, the best place to do it would be Mars. On the red planet, blood would go unnoticed. So, stay with us until you can get your chance to go to Mars.
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Comments (5)
RichardPencil 32
Clearly, the best place to do it would be Mars. On the red planet, blood would go unnoticed. So, stay with us until you can get your chance to go to Mars.
IHaveThePower 18
Letting your doctor know about this would be a good idea.
RichardPencil 32
Unless the doctor starts brainstorming with you about good locations. That would be a bad doctor.
poopface82 25
That happened on an episode of House, although it was a guy trying to preserve his organs for (I think) his son, who needed a transplant, and he didn’t have long to live anyway and what time he had would be in a coma.
mel4ssa 5
I’m sorry. Are you ok? Do you need someone to talk to?