Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were snuggling and we placed our hands together, palm to palm. I can bend the tips of my fingers over hers, which apparently surprised her because she commented, "Huh, so big hands AREN'T related to penis size." FML
Today, my wife and I were with friends when she said that men who like guns all have tiny penises. "Seriously, even smaller than me!" I added, and only realized what I'd said when the laughter started. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML
Today, I found out that when you gain too much weight, your penis can get significantly smaller. After noticing that things had been "off" in the bedroom, my girlfriend and I decided to measure it. There was significant shrinkage. I guess it's time to start working out. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML
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Top comments
etchsanity1 11
You pointed out your tiny penis to your girlfriend ... Who may have once been a dude... Ydi
lovepandorasaver 11
Well you single handedly ruined your relationship...
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Comments (112)
outoftown 27
Sheesh... were you looking for an excuse to break up?!
ravemasterroxas 9
Yaoi hands.
HeartOfLead 24
Do you call her Yoai Ming, and does she call you Pee Wee Herman?
dabeast15 7
Ydi
greeneyebeauty9 28
that's definitely something you shouldn't comment on.. especially if she didn't point it out. I don't think she would have noticed if you hadn't said anything.
luminos77 3
****** can fill her up occasionally too, to experience the feeling of it. Too many men are scared of toys.
evhrocks876 4
Haha dumbass
ViviMage 40
I was born with huge hands with long witchy fingers for a female. The family kept cracking puppy jokes when they met me as a newborn. Now I wear a US size 11 on my ring finger. My guy and I don't make comments about junk, though he think he likes my man-mitts. Better for massages! Only thing that stinks for me is I can't find cute rings in most stores, and phlebotomy there's some more risk to stick myself.
Mademoiselle_fml 34
I've always thought long fingers were an attractive feature o.o I had a filipino friend with long fingers and I was jealous of her. And now I'm jealous of you! I have tiny, stubby mexican hands! I'm a size 6 ring (and shoe) but I sometimes wish my fingers were longer... Anywho I'm rambling but the point is that some people may actually like your big hands, and some girls may actually be jealous :3
TJ1991 3
Thing is society is getting stuck in a loop. Model mags and **** are raising delusional people's expectations. So many men expect big breasts naturally, many women expect big penises naturally. It's completely wrong. There's average breast and penis sizes for a reason.
The_F3rris 11
I wonder if her hands would look small compared to that huge burger from Burger King. You remember the commercials.