Today, I told my girlfriend that I miss the amazing sex life we used to have, as we haven't had sex in months. She accidentally blurted out, "Well, I've still got one." It seems our neighbour has taken over my role in the bedroom. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, after months of successfully taking strides to boost my long diminished libido, I found out my girlfriend, who always had a healthy sex drive, has now lost hers. Oh, how the tables have turned. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she’s been wanting to have sex lately. We haven’t done it in so long, I've lost track. We still haven’t done it. Part of me wants to fuck someone else. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Today, my girlfriend of a year exclaimed "Oh my god!" for the first time during sex. Nope, I haven't improved in bed, I recently moved a TV into my room and something exciting happened on the show she was watching. FML
Today, I realised my wife has been slowly phasing out most elements of our previously active and inventive sex life. These days, it's missionary once a month or she tells me to whack one off by myself in the bathroom. When did we get so boring? FML
Today, I was lying in bed listening to my neighbors have loud, and what sounded like, enjoyable sex. My boyfriend rolled over and said, "she sounds like fun" before rolling back over and going to sleep. It's been four months. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, my ex told me she still misses having sex with me. Her next text was "but it's still over." FML
Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML
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Top comments
stopthepuck 0
She took love thy neighbor a little too seriously
tosdyke 16
...time for a new girlfriend
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Comments (18)
stopthepuck 0
She took love thy neighbor a little too seriously
diisneygirl 2
Ouch. That sucks. Im sorry
RichardPencil 32
I hope you mean EX-... Ugh, I can't do it!
Soninuva 41
Sure you can; you write stupid and meaningless comments all the time!
RichardPencil 32
I write creative and meaningful comments. You just don't like them. I don't waste everyone's time with "Aw, I'm sorry," "That sucks," and "I hope you mean ex-girlfriend." You're free to do that -- seems about right for you.
tosdyke 16
...time for a new girlfriend
cootiequeen4444 11
I really hope you are the primary owner of your home. if you consigned it could be messy. And if it is primarily hers than you can't really take my suggestion for a fact unless you like serious repercussions. but I really think that, if were you, I'd probably take all her shit and throw on the curb and tell my cheating twatwaffle of a SO they'd better be quick and get their stuff before they're sharing more than their genitals with the neighbors. Also, I'd tell them good luck on finding a new place and it's a shame all good things must come to an end and my only regret is it wasn't months ago. Bye Felicia. (yes, I can be a petty bitch sometimes. but with a cheater, c could ya blame a person? )
False_Stupidity 42
Maybe she'll move in with the neighbour. Wouldn't that be awkward unless OP has a nice big fence between them.
Isa_fml 20
Sorry to hear that. :( Dump her ass.
RichardPencil 32
I don't think that's necessary. She has beaten him to the punch.
rgetting 24
I doubt her saying she's screwing the neighbor was blurted out accidentally.
Dodge4x4Ram 46
The audacity of her. WOW, you think you know someone & then this happens.
rohan111993 13
I'm really sorry but I guess the wording of this post makes no sense to me.. how do you infer from that quote that she's cheating with the neighbour or even having sex at all?
rohan111993 13
Well I answered my own question
cumminsncope 4
Apparently you can't provide the essentials... i bet it all started with a cup of sugar