Today, one of my employees called in because he “got struck by lightning.” I told him that’s the dumbest excuse I’ve ever heard, and he’d better get his ass to work. Turns out he really did get struck by lightning. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got electrocuted at work. The boss thinks I'm faking, even though a chunk of my left hand is gone. FML
Today, I called into work because of a family emergency. My boss was understanding; my coworker? He tore me a new one because his wife wanted him to take the day off, which he didn't because it was going to be a tough day at work. He also threatened to find a way he could get me fired. FML
Today, I got in trouble with my boss for not showing up to work yesterday. It seems going into anaphylactic shock isn't a valid excuse. FML
Today, I called into work because I was too tired to keep my eyes open. My boss berated me over the phone, saying I should be more like that other employee who came in with a broken toe. That was me. FML
Today, despite warning my boss that it’s dangerous and stupid, he still insisted I get on with putting up a 4-storey tall scaffolding in high winds, and when it blew over, he blamed me for not putting it together correctly. FML
Today, at work, I fainted and hit my head. When I told my boyfriend, he said, “Why does it matter?” FML
Today, I got into a pretty heated argument with my boss. On my way out the door I told him he would be lucky if I came back to work. Unfortunately, I left the interior light on in my truck and it drained the battery. I had to go back in and ask for a jump. FML
Today, one of my employees was fired for refusing to do a basic job necessity. After the meeting with HR, he left the office and tried to go back to work. FML
Today, I had to fire an employee due to his staggering incompetence. The moment I said the F-word, he started fake-coughing, then loudly humming, then went to his desk and pretended not to hear anything I was saying. It took 3 of us to drag him out of the building kicking and screaming. FML
Today, I had to call a coworker to the office via the store intercom. The damn thing didn't turn off properly and everyone heard me say, "I hate that asshole. Just be where your dumb ass should be." I realized my mistake a few seconds before my manager stormed in and threatened to fire me. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
What are the odds? (About 300,000 to 1)
Bogrbon 27
The correct answer to something like this is to 1. Be sympathetic, ask if they’re okay, where it happened, etc. 2. If something seems fishy, ask them how long they might be out, and ask for a note from the doctor as soon as possible. Check up and verify that note and fire their asses only if/when you know they lied.
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Comments (6)
RichardPencil 32
What are the odds? (About 300,000 to 1)
Bogrbon 27
The correct answer to something like this is to 1. Be sympathetic, ask if they’re okay, where it happened, etc. 2. If something seems fishy, ask them how long they might be out, and ask for a note from the doctor as soon as possible. Check up and verify that note and fire their asses only if/when you know they lied.
1known 34
Hope you didn’t actually tell him to get his ass to work. That is not a proper way to talk to an employee.
diraven 15
At least he can't use the same excuse twice
BurnInDemonFire 39
Jeez... I'd hate to think how you'd react if an employee died... "We wish we didn't have to do this over the phone, but Richie died last night..." "Very funny. You tell that little ****** to be in by 9 or he can forget his annual bonus and the two weeks to Hawaii he won in our sales competition."