Today, my girlfriend called me an "obsessive weirdo" for always checking the chamber on my handgun whenever I pick it up. The last time I let her touch it, she mishandled it and shot a hole in the floor. Glad she's learned her lesson. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at my friend's house. We were looking at her dad's guns, and I was explaining gun safety and how you should never put your finger on the trigger. I then shot a hole in the floor of her house. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her dad showed me his gun collection, and said the first rule of gun safety is never to point a gun at something you don't intend to kill. All while waving a handgun in my direction and glaring at me with barely suppressed rage. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML
Today, my fiancé and I were discussing whether we should have a gun in the house or not. He argued that I’m too clumsy to have one. Offended, I turned around to storm off. I hit my forehead on the cabinet I'd left open and immediately started gushing blood. Point proved. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went shooting. While I was showing him how to properly hold and adjust a rifle, he accidentally pulled the trigger. The gun kicked back and hit me in the face, breaking my nose. FML
Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend, who's already made two threats against my life, informed me that she now has a concealed carry permit. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend a small stun gun I bought for her. She mentioned how she thought it was ''cute'', though it probably wouldn't help if someone was after her. She then put the tazer to my chest. When I woke up, she told me how it was my fault, for buying it for her. FML
Today, I took my 15-year-old daughter to our local shooting range for her birthday, as she requested. While she was setting up a target in front of me, I jokingly pulled the trigger and shouted, "Think Fast!" not realizing that the safety was off. I shot my daughter in the arm on her birthday. FML
Today, my psycho ex showed up at my doorstep to beg me to take her back, so I pulled my gun on her. I just found out she's pressing charges. FML
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
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Top comments
JasonThorn 23
A line from a Stephen King novella describes the perfect attitude to take involving firearms: "My dad would tell me to treat every gun as though the moment you take your eyes off of it, it loads itself."
1known 34
And that’s the reason why we don’t need guns in a home.
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Comments (8)
JasonThorn 23
A line from a Stephen King novella describes the perfect attitude to take involving firearms: "My dad would tell me to treat every gun as though the moment you take your eyes off of it, it loads itself."
RichardPencil 32
Maybe "paranoid weirdo" might be a better fit.
JackWood 21
Obviously you're no Alec Baldwin.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Tell her about Terry Kath.
SirEnigM0nk 22
Keep her away from firearms, yours, or any others.
1known 34
And that’s the reason why we don’t need guns in a home.
Schm17ty 1
No more guns for her I hope! Maybe an actual gun safety certification course. A long one. And maybe some introductions to gunshot victims and gruesome pictures as well. And get a bulletproof vest when you go shooting?