Today, I met a man at the bar, and he asked me to go home with him. The problem? He's 80. I'm 29. The bigger problem? I considered it. It's been that long. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went out on a date with a guy significantly older than myself. I told him I really liked him because I can have an intelligent conversation with him, unlike most guys my age. He told me he just wanted to get into my pants. FML
Today, a man easily 30 years older than me said hi in a bar, but I didn’t engage. Apparently that meant "Please rub your junk on my leg." FML
Today, my husband and I visited a new bar in our city. It turned out to be a swingers sex club. He asked if we could stay and try it out, even though we were easily the oldest people there by about 30 years. FML
Today, I was ringing an old man up in the local grocery store when I had realized all he was buying was 3 bottles of vodka and a box of condoms. While I was loading the bags into his cart he laid his hand on my shoulder and told me, "I'd take you home with me but chances are I would be arrested". FML
Today, I'm 20 years-old and I was propositioned by a 42 year-old man, who turned out to be my dad's friend who helped care for me when I was 2 to 7 years-old. FML
Today, my 70 year-old coworker gave me a letter telling me he was attracted to me, and wishes to have a relationship in which he can 'hold me in his arms every night'. I'm 21. FML
Today, a cute new guy I always run into at work hit on me. Turns out he's only 18. I'm old enough to be his mom. FML
Today, when my dad said he was dating a woman he met at his retirees social club, I assumed it was a woman also in her 60s. Nope. Barmaid. A whole 42 years younger than him, 9 years younger than me. FML
Today, after I met a guy online and we'd became fast friends, talking every day about everything, things got flirty after half a year of talking. A year in, I finally got the time to meet up with him. It turns out he lied about his age. He's 8 years younger and in college. I fell head over heels. Help. FML
Today, I was in the store when a man started chatting me up. He was good looking and charming. He asked, “So, what are you, 22-23?” I saw him visibly recoil in disgust when I told him my real age. I’m only 35, he was about 50, but he acted like he couldn’t runaway fast enough. FML
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Top comments
A1V 5
Don't ever be that desperate... ew.
Azlia 0
it really doesn't sound that bad. anyone still picking up girls in a bar at 80 has got to have some fun and spunk in there.
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Comments (132)
vanny08 0
was it hefner.?
abalgatti 0
imagine his stamina, unless he falls asleep
gusgus36 5
gross... he could be your grandpa. if you're that desperate, go on eharmony or something. but even thinking about going home with an 80-year-old, ew.
xchrist 0
whats eharmony
oohlalaaliya 0
Don't think of yourself as desperate, OP. Tell your friends you have yourself a sugar daddy :D they will never know.
soadgroupie 0
mmm grandaddy UGH YES HARDER
adorkable_spazz 0
lmao
Skyline969 1
Haha, gramps: "Who's your daddy? Who's your GRANDdaddy?"
singer4life666 0
Desperation at its lowest point. Haha.
janelly16 7
hopefully u were drinking when u considered this
captainPIRATEche 0
ahahaha! that horrable! fyl op go get a yooooounger man!
Hump_Zilla 0
is that the guy with the old balls?
fernandita91 0
lol go get it grampa !!!