Today, I met a man at the bar, and he asked me to go home with him. The problem? He's 80. I'm 29. The bigger problem? I considered it. It's been that long. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went out on a date with a guy significantly older than myself. I told him I really liked him because I can have an intelligent conversation with him, unlike most guys my age. He told me he just wanted to get into my pants. FML
Today, a man easily 30 years older than me said hi in a bar, but I didn’t engage. Apparently that meant "Please rub your junk on my leg." FML
Today, my husband and I visited a new bar in our city. It turned out to be a swingers sex club. He asked if we could stay and try it out, even though we were easily the oldest people there by about 30 years. FML
Today, I was ringing an old man up in the local grocery store when I had realized all he was buying was 3 bottles of vodka and a box of condoms. While I was loading the bags into his cart he laid his hand on my shoulder and told me, "I'd take you home with me but chances are I would be arrested". FML
Today, I'm 20 years-old and I was propositioned by a 42 year-old man, who turned out to be my dad's friend who helped care for me when I was 2 to 7 years-old. FML
Today, my 70 year-old coworker gave me a letter telling me he was attracted to me, and wishes to have a relationship in which he can 'hold me in his arms every night'. I'm 21. FML
Today, a cute new guy I always run into at work hit on me. Turns out he's only 18. I'm old enough to be his mom. FML
Today, when my dad said he was dating a woman he met at his retirees social club, I assumed it was a woman also in her 60s. Nope. Barmaid. A whole 42 years younger than him, 9 years younger than me. FML
Today, after I met a guy online and we'd became fast friends, talking every day about everything, things got flirty after half a year of talking. A year in, I finally got the time to meet up with him. It turns out he lied about his age. He's 8 years younger and in college. I fell head over heels. Help. FML
Today, I was in the store when a man started chatting me up. He was good looking and charming. He asked, “So, what are you, 22-23?” I saw him visibly recoil in disgust when I told him my real age. I’m only 35, he was about 50, but he acted like he couldn’t runaway fast enough. FML
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Top comments
A1V 5
Don't ever be that desperate... ew.
Azlia 0
it really doesn't sound that bad. anyone still picking up girls in a bar at 80 has got to have some fun and spunk in there.
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Comments (132)
XxdezuhrayxX 0
ugh, you're nasty OP >.<
aliasISM 0
gramps got game
adidjo 0
Sounds like a future me... only I'm the 80 yo one :-)
iloveTheMiz 0
First! :D
julie3841 11
oh GOD. e.e
perdix 31
You should have done it. **** him a few times and he'll put you in his will. A few times more and then you'll kill him. Then you'll have enough money to have the extensive plastic surgery, liposuction and personality coaching so that you could be attractive to men only twice your age. Now, there's a plan!
loselos 0
quit being so picky and give up that booty
xNOxMORExTACOS 0
lmfao
perdix 31
Get some beef jerky, spray it with Old Spice and gobble it up like you were starving. That will get you lubed up and ready to go!
Trollz4daLULZ 2
Beauty's only a light switch away... YDI for almost fornicating! heh, 69th again. That should have been YOUR magic #, OP! Old saggy balls in the face FTW!
fat_bastard_607 0
you could have totally made that Guy's night, and I bet he would have been better than at least half the guys that are 1/4 his age. you just never know. I'd bang Betty white, baby!
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Who wouldn't bang Betty White?! O.O