Today, I met a girl who's the whole package: brains, beauty, shared interests, great personality, single, and into me. Too bad I married my bitchy, depressive high school girlfriend who said she'd kill herself if I didn't. Sometimes, she still tells me she'll do it if we divorce. I believe her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML
Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML
Today, the girl who I had a desperate crush on in high school 25 years ago, and who would never go out with me, told me that she was actually head over heels in love with me, but was so cripplingly shy that she couldn't say yes. She's divorced now. I'm married. FML
Today, I have been dating an incredibly gorgeous woman. She had a poor self image and after the longest time, I finally convinced her to seek counselling to help her self esteem. It worked. So well in fact that she just broke up with me because she "finally realized she could do so much better" FML
Today, my daughter has been such a bridezilla that her fiancé actually dumped her. He treated her well, was handsome, and rich to boot, while still working at his career, yet she couldn’t calm down enough to see she was ruining her life. Now, after the breakup, she's moved back in with me. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with depression. My girlfriend's idea of consoling me was to break up with me because she can't date a "psycho". FML
Today, it appears that when in high school I made one of those "If we're unmarried at 35, we should marry each other" deals. Well, this afternoon she turned up at my house. I'm not married, but I have a pregnant girlfriend. She claimed a girlfriend doesn't count so our promise is still binding. And yes, she had the crazy eyes. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML
Today, I bumped into the bitchy mean girl who bullied me mercilessly throughout high school, leaving deep emotional scars. When I told my boyfriend who she was, he picked her up, carried her out of the store, and threw her into a puddle. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for a girl he met through me. I shouldn't feel bad. Apparently, she's exactly like me, only much prettier. FML
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Top comments
Brukernavn 0
Note to self: Don't marry while still a horny teenager.
escualida 0
YDI for marrying someone because of a threat... grow a pair!
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Comments (269)
imsotired 0
that is abusive behavior, she is controlling you by making you feel guilty and powerless. you have to let go of her now if you want to have a happy fulfilling life, because there is no way you can have that when married to someone like that. and after, take some time to get to know who you are, so you have more self confidence going into the next relationship than you did in this one.
tilted_logic 0
I know how you feel, you cared about her enough to want to keep her alive, whilst sacrificing your own happiness. If you've come across someone you think may be the right person for you, you should really go for it. Life isn't worth living if you're not living it for yourself.
KaiReddtail 0
Get her a therapist and go for it.
Endymion_fml 0
It's not like you'd miss her. DO IT.
TishNchips 0
WAIIIIIT! I know, at first I agreed with the majority of comments in this page about divorcing your wife... BUT! when you think about it.... This girl you met... she may seem flawless now, but what if she's not that sweet in the long run? Sometimes even the sweetest apple can have a rotten core. Anyway, your wife has been with you since high school. Wasn't there something good that made you wanna marry her in the first place??? Please, at least try and patch things up with her before you make any big decisions!
Spitfire_fml 0
Dude, so let her do whateva. If she kills herself then that's her shit, not yours. If this connection is that amazing, say bye bye to the bitch and be done with it.
mef_fml 0
ydi for marrying someone out of pity. grow some balls.
GrtJzzMn 0
Wow...... I had a girlfirend like that one. she was very Ill and sent herself to the psych ward in hospital. For your own life get help for this girl and help yourself to some attractive woman in every sence. Best of luck.
Dutch_Guy 0
Why do people make these kinds of promises about break-ups or divorces? Get a life, wife. Go for the full package, but make sure she isn't 'one of them' first.
shanster 3
you don't get life insurance money if it's a suicide, that voids out the policy.