Today, I met a girl who's the whole package: brains, beauty, shared interests, great personality, single, and into me. Too bad I married my bitchy, depressive high school girlfriend who said she'd kill herself if I didn't. Sometimes, she still tells me she'll do it if we divorce. I believe her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML
Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML
Today, the girl who I had a desperate crush on in high school 25 years ago, and who would never go out with me, told me that she was actually head over heels in love with me, but was so cripplingly shy that she couldn't say yes. She's divorced now. I'm married. FML
Today, I have been dating an incredibly gorgeous woman. She had a poor self image and after the longest time, I finally convinced her to seek counselling to help her self esteem. It worked. So well in fact that she just broke up with me because she "finally realized she could do so much better" FML
Today, my daughter has been such a bridezilla that her fiancé actually dumped her. He treated her well, was handsome, and rich to boot, while still working at his career, yet she couldn’t calm down enough to see she was ruining her life. Now, after the breakup, she's moved back in with me. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with depression. My girlfriend's idea of consoling me was to break up with me because she can't date a "psycho". FML
Today, it appears that when in high school I made one of those "If we're unmarried at 35, we should marry each other" deals. Well, this afternoon she turned up at my house. I'm not married, but I have a pregnant girlfriend. She claimed a girlfriend doesn't count so our promise is still binding. And yes, she had the crazy eyes. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML
Today, I bumped into the bitchy mean girl who bullied me mercilessly throughout high school, leaving deep emotional scars. When I told my boyfriend who she was, he picked her up, carried her out of the store, and threw her into a puddle. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for a girl he met through me. I shouldn't feel bad. Apparently, she's exactly like me, only much prettier. FML
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Top comments
Brukernavn 0
Note to self: Don't marry while still a horny teenager.
escualida 0
YDI for marrying someone because of a threat... grow a pair!
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Comments (269)
Redders123 1
:( You seem like a sweet guy. I hope you can get her some help and eventually break free from her and find a healthy relationship.
laxgirl3 0
divorce her...it's really not ur problem or fault what she does with her life! seriously dude! how do u no she's not cheering on u???
droplets 0
Tell her to get help, then leave her for the one who will actually make you happy.
greendaygirl112 0
divorce
brianjman14 23
seriously, get out and go 4 that awesome girl, u don't need to be with that bitch. if she does kill herself, then it's her fault
Wildbluesun 2
NO ONE is responsible for someone else's suicide. It's her fault for not trying to sort out her problems, particularly if they've been going on since she was a teenager. (This may sound judgemental, but I spent a year in a psych ward after a failed suicide attempt, so if anyone's allowed to be judgemental then it's me.) All you can do is encourage her to seek help, and then leave. You've been sucked into her drama whorl for too long; you've got a right to happiness as well. But give her the number of a good therapist when you go. And if you've got any guns in the house for god's sake take them with you, lots of successful suicide attempts are with guns. Also - most females fail their first two or three suicide attempts, so she'll probably be forced into psychiatric care before she actually dies! :D
lplancers 0
I know how you feel. girls like this are ridiculous.
My2864 1
so ? let her i mean if she will kill herself over not being with you shes a selffish biatch if you hate her guts anyway you shouldnt br with her no mater what the reason is
Aizsaule 0
Fake your own death
CantStopTheMetal 0
i had a girlfriend just like that, dumped her anyway hahaha. whatta ****.