Today, I met a girl who's the whole package: brains, beauty, shared interests, great personality, single, and into me. Too bad I married my bitchy, depressive high school girlfriend who said she'd kill herself if I didn't. Sometimes, she still tells me she'll do it if we divorce. I believe her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML
Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML
Today, the girl who I had a desperate crush on in high school 25 years ago, and who would never go out with me, told me that she was actually head over heels in love with me, but was so cripplingly shy that she couldn't say yes. She's divorced now. I'm married. FML
Today, I have been dating an incredibly gorgeous woman. She had a poor self image and after the longest time, I finally convinced her to seek counselling to help her self esteem. It worked. So well in fact that she just broke up with me because she "finally realized she could do so much better" FML
Today, my daughter has been such a bridezilla that her fiancé actually dumped her. He treated her well, was handsome, and rich to boot, while still working at his career, yet she couldn’t calm down enough to see she was ruining her life. Now, after the breakup, she's moved back in with me. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with depression. My girlfriend's idea of consoling me was to break up with me because she can't date a "psycho". FML
Today, it appears that when in high school I made one of those "If we're unmarried at 35, we should marry each other" deals. Well, this afternoon she turned up at my house. I'm not married, but I have a pregnant girlfriend. She claimed a girlfriend doesn't count so our promise is still binding. And yes, she had the crazy eyes. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML
Today, I bumped into the bitchy mean girl who bullied me mercilessly throughout high school, leaving deep emotional scars. When I told my boyfriend who she was, he picked her up, carried her out of the store, and threw her into a puddle. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for a girl he met through me. I shouldn't feel bad. Apparently, she's exactly like me, only much prettier. FML
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Top comments
Brukernavn 0
Note to self: Don't marry while still a horny teenager.
escualida 0
YDI for marrying someone because of a threat... grow a pair!
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Comments (269)
Ninjaface 0
The new girl may be into you for now, but eventually she'll find out that you're about as big of a pushover as it gets. You make it sound like your wife's suicide threats were the only reason you married her, in which case I'm surprised she hasn't done it already from depression at your utter lack of testosterone. Grow a pair and tell her that she can do whatever she wants, but you won't be around to suffer because of it.
pepjag 0
i totally get u man!! everytime we get into a fight and we break up she tells me shes gonna kill herself so its like i have 2 go back and sometimes i hate it. shes a good person and i love her but its like im being held prisoner. id say dump the psycho and find ur girl dude.
Hacksaw 4
Divorce her, then you'll be a widower. Chicks dig that.
paladininwaiting 1
i feel your pain my man......well except for the suicidal wife part...
Drekos 0
It sounds like she has borderline personality disorder http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder. If she does she probably isn't suicidal and is just trying to manipulate you, in which case i suggest you GTFO of that relationship. Also #214's suggestion doesn't sound half bad.
zombielovinx 0
This sounds all too familiar. Divorce her, she's not worth it.
nygirl8302 0
It appears you both need to grow up. Divorce her, get her help, and get on with your lives. Sitting around and blaming her for everything isn't helping either of you. I know what it's like to have a psycho like that come into the family, but it's something you need to deal with, and before you get into another relationship, make sure you know how you truly feel about each other.
picturescrazy 24
You need to grow a pair. YDI, it's your own fault.
cheerchick4life 0
talk to her family and close friends and suggest a psychitrist. then divorce her
Gregiscool 0
obviously you had bad judgement before, why would this person be so much better? because they were as perfect as your current wife at one point in time? i mean, shit don't look at the newest ipod and say the one you have sucks. just look at the reasons why you married your wife in the first place. get her some help with her depression, do something other than complain.