Today, I met a girl who's the whole package: brains, beauty, shared interests, great personality, single, and into me. Too bad I married my bitchy, depressive high school girlfriend who said she'd kill herself if I didn't. Sometimes, she still tells me she'll do it if we divorce. I believe her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML
Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML
Today, the girl who I had a desperate crush on in high school 25 years ago, and who would never go out with me, told me that she was actually head over heels in love with me, but was so cripplingly shy that she couldn't say yes. She's divorced now. I'm married. FML
Today, I have been dating an incredibly gorgeous woman. She had a poor self image and after the longest time, I finally convinced her to seek counselling to help her self esteem. It worked. So well in fact that she just broke up with me because she "finally realized she could do so much better" FML
Today, my daughter has been such a bridezilla that her fiancé actually dumped her. He treated her well, was handsome, and rich to boot, while still working at his career, yet she couldn’t calm down enough to see she was ruining her life. Now, after the breakup, she's moved back in with me. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with depression. My girlfriend's idea of consoling me was to break up with me because she can't date a "psycho". FML
Today, it appears that when in high school I made one of those "If we're unmarried at 35, we should marry each other" deals. Well, this afternoon she turned up at my house. I'm not married, but I have a pregnant girlfriend. She claimed a girlfriend doesn't count so our promise is still binding. And yes, she had the crazy eyes. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML
Today, I bumped into the bitchy mean girl who bullied me mercilessly throughout high school, leaving deep emotional scars. When I told my boyfriend who she was, he picked her up, carried her out of the store, and threw her into a puddle. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for a girl he met through me. I shouldn't feel bad. Apparently, she's exactly like me, only much prettier. FML
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Top comments
Brukernavn 0
Note to self: Don't marry while still a horny teenager.
escualida 0
YDI for marrying someone because of a threat... grow a pair!
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Comments (269)
Diligent17 4
Then divorce her to call that bluff. If she actually does it, no skin off your bones because she doesn't value her life enough so she want's to lower urs as well in hope to control you.
C0urante 0
Divorce her. If she doesn't kill herself at first, then take the initiative and do it for her.
frostie 0
You should: ask a therapist for advice on how to break it off with her and tell the situation, tell her parents how crazy she is and to talk to her to become more normal or just straight up be like: "your crappy because you always depressed and bitchy, and its not fair for me to hold me hostage like this etc etc". Seems like your wife is definitely bipolar and needs help. You can either force her to get therapy and stick it out like a real strong couple, or be all lazy and just ditch her and go for the new girl.
containsnosoy 0
If you married a girl simply because she threatened to kill herself if you didn't, YDI. What? Did you think things would just get better from there?
iTunesRewiews 0
ya give her to a psyciatric place and divorse her and don't mind her at all
The__Redneck 7
I believe your position in this relationship is referred to as an "enabler." ... ... Although "the bitch" also qualifies. By indulging in your wife's threats, you are not helping her OR yourself. Grow a pair, get the woman to a shrink, and live your life. If you refuse to, it's no longer her fault but yours.
RuralNinja 0
So? Let the bitch off herself, she'll be doing the world a favor. Plus, you can get in good with the other one by playing the widower card.
SilverStrs5 0
I feel bad for you but a person like that cannot be good for you or anyone else its time to move on.
sweatnut 0
man up and grow a setq
Pwibble 2
You are not responsible for other peoples happiness.